I finally have the time to sit down and blog. The little Toothless monster is taking her 2nd nap of the day.
Since 2 weeks ago, I've been having a taste of what it means to be a SAHM (stay at home mom). When Toothless was 6 weeks old, she's been my companion at work. I'd bring her bright and early to work, there grandpa, grandma, and I will tag team to feed, put her to sleep and play with her. I thank God that my job is flexible enough and my parents are there with me to help me through. So now I'm on school holidays, and Toothless can finally enjoy being a stay at home baby!
I was worried that with all the activity and excitement in school, she never would get a stable environment to build a stable routine. So building a routine was my top priority in the holidays. That said, I had no idea where to begin! So wisdom really comes from God! After just observing her and letting her take the lead for a week, as well as faithfully recording her every feed, activity etc... I finally saw a pattern emerge!! And she's been sticking to it really really well!
She now takes about 5 feeds a day, 3 naps, and sleeps around 8.30-9.30pm most nights she'll sleep well up till 7am or 8am. =)
Another notable event happened 2 weeks ago... Toothless fell sick!! Her first viral attack had a name - Roseola. Started with a fever, went on to cough, flu, and rash. Took her a whole week and a half for the body to fight it off. =( poor baby! But she's all better now!
Still the virus really really impacted her night time sleep routine. For as long as she was sick, she was waking almost every 1-2 hours! And on 2 occasions, she woke up to cry for 3 hours straight. Nothing but carrying would soothe her. On top of that, it was during the time I caught her virus and was sick as well. So it was back to sleepless nights for the whole household! Those nights, I just felt abandoned... alone... helpless and hopeless. Felt like a failure to say the least. But I really thank God that I have Toothless. For better or worse, I wouldn't want it any other way!
So those are my mini updates. Shall really try to update more often =/ *fingers crossed*
Till then! Tata!
Guilt Stricken
Alyssa turned 5 months yesterday. We've made it past 5 months. Looking back I don't know how we could've done it without God... From a single sperm and egg, 37 weeks later, a baby. And 5 months later, here we are. It's been a heck of a ride, and I'm not exaggerating when I say we're enjoying it!
But I can't help but wonder how things would've turned out if I was, as I planned, a stay at home mom. I returned to work 6 weeks post partum. Since then, she's been faithfully following me to work every week day, and to music practices on Saturday, and then to church and my in laws on Sunday. So my baby is practically out every single day.
Until today, it still pains me every single morning when we have to go out. Left without a morning outing, and she sleeps well through till 10am. But because of work and practices, she is forced to wake up at 8am. Come work time, the excitement, boisterous children, bright lights, and noisy traffic heard from the room where her cot is located... these things keep my girl awake and she barely gets 2 hours of sleep from 8am-4pm.
So far she's been taken care of by my parents and me during work hours. I thank God for my parents and the flexible work arrangements that allow Alyssa to be cared for all the time. But it still pains me deeply that she's not growing in a stable home where she should be.
Deep down, I want to be a stay at home mom. I want to be there for my baby. I want to give my best to her and not to other people's children. My baby needs me. Yet, what I can muster up to give her... is a far cry from what I'd imagined.
Somehow we've been managing... somehow my baby has still been developing well. Somehow she still gets her 15-18 hours of sleep every day. She's still developing slightly above average. She's healthy and happy. That somehow is grace.
After having Alyssa, I had to rethink life. I used to take on a whole lot of things. I loved being productive, hence the constant pushing and all. Gave in to many demands and built a reputation for being able to do many things. But after Alyssa, my focus has shifted to that of providing for the needs of my child. my best from Monday to Friday is given to my work and students. So whatever time I have left with Alyssa, I aim to make it quality time. Because of this, I've had to cut down on a number of tasks. I can no longer hang out as much, stay out as late, go out for movies, go shopping on a fly, spend Sundays lazing around, go out for supper, serve in church as much, and the list goes on.
While juggling the shift of identities, work, marriage, and other commitments, I have inevitably come to realise a nugget of truth - I cannot do them all. Some things have got to be sacrificed. And I've decided long ago - it ain't gonna be my kid! So I do apologize if I have let any of you down by not being able to perform as well as I used to. This is what happens when you have a little person who depends on you for her every need. For those who are yet to have children, just wait till you have one of your own, then perhaps you will be able to understand my predicament. For those who have children who are all grown up, perhaps you'd forgotten how hard it was to raise a child? Especially in this day and age. I am afterall a newbie mom.
Until I can phase off from my job, I'll strive to put everything else on hold so I can spend good quality time with Alyssa. She's growing up so fast. I don't want to be that mom who looks at her teenage daughter and asks herself "how did she grow up so fast?? where did all the time go?" I only have that many years to spend with my girl until the day comes when she will no longer need me, so maybe after all is said and done, I don't really apologize for putting her first (after God that is). =)
Lord, I thank You for this child. Please give me the wisdom to raise her like you intended. Amen.
But I can't help but wonder how things would've turned out if I was, as I planned, a stay at home mom. I returned to work 6 weeks post partum. Since then, she's been faithfully following me to work every week day, and to music practices on Saturday, and then to church and my in laws on Sunday. So my baby is practically out every single day.
Until today, it still pains me every single morning when we have to go out. Left without a morning outing, and she sleeps well through till 10am. But because of work and practices, she is forced to wake up at 8am. Come work time, the excitement, boisterous children, bright lights, and noisy traffic heard from the room where her cot is located... these things keep my girl awake and she barely gets 2 hours of sleep from 8am-4pm.
So far she's been taken care of by my parents and me during work hours. I thank God for my parents and the flexible work arrangements that allow Alyssa to be cared for all the time. But it still pains me deeply that she's not growing in a stable home where she should be.
Deep down, I want to be a stay at home mom. I want to be there for my baby. I want to give my best to her and not to other people's children. My baby needs me. Yet, what I can muster up to give her... is a far cry from what I'd imagined.
Somehow we've been managing... somehow my baby has still been developing well. Somehow she still gets her 15-18 hours of sleep every day. She's still developing slightly above average. She's healthy and happy. That somehow is grace.
After having Alyssa, I had to rethink life. I used to take on a whole lot of things. I loved being productive, hence the constant pushing and all. Gave in to many demands and built a reputation for being able to do many things. But after Alyssa, my focus has shifted to that of providing for the needs of my child. my best from Monday to Friday is given to my work and students. So whatever time I have left with Alyssa, I aim to make it quality time. Because of this, I've had to cut down on a number of tasks. I can no longer hang out as much, stay out as late, go out for movies, go shopping on a fly, spend Sundays lazing around, go out for supper, serve in church as much, and the list goes on.
While juggling the shift of identities, work, marriage, and other commitments, I have inevitably come to realise a nugget of truth - I cannot do them all. Some things have got to be sacrificed. And I've decided long ago - it ain't gonna be my kid! So I do apologize if I have let any of you down by not being able to perform as well as I used to. This is what happens when you have a little person who depends on you for her every need. For those who are yet to have children, just wait till you have one of your own, then perhaps you will be able to understand my predicament. For those who have children who are all grown up, perhaps you'd forgotten how hard it was to raise a child? Especially in this day and age. I am afterall a newbie mom.
Until I can phase off from my job, I'll strive to put everything else on hold so I can spend good quality time with Alyssa. She's growing up so fast. I don't want to be that mom who looks at her teenage daughter and asks herself "how did she grow up so fast?? where did all the time go?" I only have that many years to spend with my girl until the day comes when she will no longer need me, so maybe after all is said and done, I don't really apologize for putting her first (after God that is). =)
Lord, I thank You for this child. Please give me the wisdom to raise her like you intended. Amen.
Wow Wee!
Thus was my reaction when I did a recent 'stock count' of my milk production. 260 ounces in the freezer, 12 ounces in the fridge. That's a total of 272 ounces since I got my Medela Freestyle pump (absolutely love it!!!) when Alyssa was 6 weeks old. She's turning 15 weeks tomorrow and that marks the 9th week of my electric pumping journey
Looking back at the days prior to the pump, I had a manual Medela one which required 40 minutes of non stop squeezing on the lever to yield a total of 2 ounces of milk! I religiously did that for a whole 6 weeks, round the clock, every 2 hours. How I managed to remain sane? God's grace! I remember praying before each pump, for God to bless my factories and enable them to do what they were made to do. 9 weeks down the line, my freezer is living testimony of His providence and grace! =)
Now I get an average of 5-7 ounces per pump session if I pump every 4 hours. Some days I get busy and stretch it to a 6 hour gap, I can get up to 10 ounces. So far the record has been 11 ounces! *clap clap*. I run the pump for an average of 6 sessions per day, so that's an average of 30 ounces minimum per day. So far Alyssa drinks about 24-26 ounces per day. Still hoping for her to up her intake.
With the pumping routine well established, I've set a goal to keep providing her breastmilk till she's 1. Still haven't worked out when I'll start cutting down on pumps sessions to wean my factories off.
Which then brings me to the next issue - solids!!! I first got excited when Karlyn's mom bought me a baby recipe book! Browsing through the many recipes got me all excited!! So what occupies whatever free time I have now is reading up about solids. From what I can gather, 6 months is a good time to start. Introducing solids too early has its risks. So, as it stands, 6 months is the mark.
What I especially like about the whole breast pumping and solid food making scenario, is the great sense of achievement gained from being able to provide for my daughter. I am really amazed at God's design. The more I read about pureeing, the greater my delight! I'm getting goosebumps just typing this! But that said, I've read that some moms really dislike the pureeing stage. Only way for me to find out is when Alyssa gets to 6 months and I try it out on my own.
Looking back at the days prior to the pump, I had a manual Medela one which required 40 minutes of non stop squeezing on the lever to yield a total of 2 ounces of milk! I religiously did that for a whole 6 weeks, round the clock, every 2 hours. How I managed to remain sane? God's grace! I remember praying before each pump, for God to bless my factories and enable them to do what they were made to do. 9 weeks down the line, my freezer is living testimony of His providence and grace! =)
Now I get an average of 5-7 ounces per pump session if I pump every 4 hours. Some days I get busy and stretch it to a 6 hour gap, I can get up to 10 ounces. So far the record has been 11 ounces! *clap clap*. I run the pump for an average of 6 sessions per day, so that's an average of 30 ounces minimum per day. So far Alyssa drinks about 24-26 ounces per day. Still hoping for her to up her intake.
With the pumping routine well established, I've set a goal to keep providing her breastmilk till she's 1. Still haven't worked out when I'll start cutting down on pumps sessions to wean my factories off.
Which then brings me to the next issue - solids!!! I first got excited when Karlyn's mom bought me a baby recipe book! Browsing through the many recipes got me all excited!! So what occupies whatever free time I have now is reading up about solids. From what I can gather, 6 months is a good time to start. Introducing solids too early has its risks. So, as it stands, 6 months is the mark.
What I especially like about the whole breast pumping and solid food making scenario, is the great sense of achievement gained from being able to provide for my daughter. I am really amazed at God's design. The more I read about pureeing, the greater my delight! I'm getting goosebumps just typing this! But that said, I've read that some moms really dislike the pureeing stage. Only way for me to find out is when Alyssa gets to 6 months and I try it out on my own.
I'm an Exclusively Pumping Mommy.
Title says it all... I never knew there was a term for it, but after spending days getting used to the routine, I desperately needed some guidance and referred to the great oracle - Google. Lo and behold, I realised I am not alone!! There's a huge network of other exclusive pumpers out there.
Before I go any further let me first explain what exclusively pumping means. Basically, it's when a mommy feeds breastmilk to her baby via bottle, not breast... in other words, baby's not fed through the tap so to say. Why? Many reasons actually, premies are at the top of the list, followed by nipple and latch problems. Mine's the latter.
My first breastfeeding experience was a nightmare and left me trying so very hard to hold in my tears. I knew beforehand that my nipples would create a problem with latching on, but there was hope that maybe the baby could learn how to latch on, or maybe towards the end of pregnancy my nipples would resemble that or normal ones. But it never happened. Baby was hungry, lactation consultant was there to teach the proper latch on. I held baby in my arms, she was ready to go, mouth opened wide, I put her to breast and she just couldn't latch on... after a few more tries... she burst out into a scream... and my heart just dropped. I could not do the single more natural thing - breastfeed... I could not provide for my hungry baby.
Next few days, I still tried. Until one day I just gave up. Back at home, I had my medela pump, and I got to work trying to make my milk come. Day 4, it came. Pumping was exhilarating!! I saw trickles of whitish fluid emerging and it clicked, I CAN produce milk after all!! The rest is history.
It's been almost a month and half now of exclusive pumping. Here's the drill... I pump almost every 2 hours, feed, then wash and sterilize everything. Day and night. The number of hours of sleep I get? about 4 hours of interrupted sleep. It's a lonely journey... I'm up with the sounds of her hunger whimpers, I head downstairs to retrieved refridgerated milk, put it in the warmer, and feed (which take her 30-40 mins sometimes), then proceed to pumping (which takes another 30-40 mins), then wash and sterilize, and get back to sleep... only to be awaken about 1+hours later. It's certainly God's grace that has brought me through these nights of sleep deprivation... And what's more challenging is that on top of juggling all this... I have to ensure I get enough "rest" so my milk production maintains. I find this rather hillarious... the irony. =/
Found something uplifting today while reading other pumping mommy's blogs for support... Entitled "Cows with names produce more milk" (hilarious!!)
I go back to work in 2 days. I do not know how I am going to fair juggling work, feeds, pumping, and keeping my health and sanity in check. I can more or less envision how things may turn out, but everyone knows reality may differ greatly. Only way to find out is to dive in. Not like I have any other choice.
I shall heed the advice and be nice to myself. For today, that means not bothering about whether the dishes are done, clothes are hung, floor is swept... for today it means not bothering whether or not I smile or make life easier for some people.. for today.. it means I just want to take a break! I'm a cow with a name for goodness' sake!! And this sleep deprived, highly stressed cow needs a well deserved break and a pat on the back for a month + of work well done.
On a side note, I absolutely dislike it when people keep probing about my breastfeeding attempts. I shall articulate it to the world here... I am exclusively pumping, breastfeeding doesn't work for me and the baby.I am already doing the BEST I can, the BEST I know how... So let me be. please!
Before I go any further let me first explain what exclusively pumping means. Basically, it's when a mommy feeds breastmilk to her baby via bottle, not breast... in other words, baby's not fed through the tap so to say. Why? Many reasons actually, premies are at the top of the list, followed by nipple and latch problems. Mine's the latter.
My first breastfeeding experience was a nightmare and left me trying so very hard to hold in my tears. I knew beforehand that my nipples would create a problem with latching on, but there was hope that maybe the baby could learn how to latch on, or maybe towards the end of pregnancy my nipples would resemble that or normal ones. But it never happened. Baby was hungry, lactation consultant was there to teach the proper latch on. I held baby in my arms, she was ready to go, mouth opened wide, I put her to breast and she just couldn't latch on... after a few more tries... she burst out into a scream... and my heart just dropped. I could not do the single more natural thing - breastfeed... I could not provide for my hungry baby.
Next few days, I still tried. Until one day I just gave up. Back at home, I had my medela pump, and I got to work trying to make my milk come. Day 4, it came. Pumping was exhilarating!! I saw trickles of whitish fluid emerging and it clicked, I CAN produce milk after all!! The rest is history.
It's been almost a month and half now of exclusive pumping. Here's the drill... I pump almost every 2 hours, feed, then wash and sterilize everything. Day and night. The number of hours of sleep I get? about 4 hours of interrupted sleep. It's a lonely journey... I'm up with the sounds of her hunger whimpers, I head downstairs to retrieved refridgerated milk, put it in the warmer, and feed (which take her 30-40 mins sometimes), then proceed to pumping (which takes another 30-40 mins), then wash and sterilize, and get back to sleep... only to be awaken about 1+hours later. It's certainly God's grace that has brought me through these nights of sleep deprivation... And what's more challenging is that on top of juggling all this... I have to ensure I get enough "rest" so my milk production maintains. I find this rather hillarious... the irony. =/
Found something uplifting today while reading other pumping mommy's blogs for support... Entitled "Cows with names produce more milk" (hilarious!!)
And I think about how we breastfeeding human moms run ourselves ragged. We get so little sleep. If we go back to work then we are especially burning the candle at both ends. Not to mention how hard the exclusively pumping moms are working. It's not easy. But we do it anyway because we know it's important.If this is you, be nice to yourself. And realizing you are worth being treated well and making sure that you are treated that way just may help you produce more, too.
Source
I go back to work in 2 days. I do not know how I am going to fair juggling work, feeds, pumping, and keeping my health and sanity in check. I can more or less envision how things may turn out, but everyone knows reality may differ greatly. Only way to find out is to dive in. Not like I have any other choice.
I shall heed the advice and be nice to myself. For today, that means not bothering about whether the dishes are done, clothes are hung, floor is swept... for today it means not bothering whether or not I smile or make life easier for some people.. for today.. it means I just want to take a break! I'm a cow with a name for goodness' sake!! And this sleep deprived, highly stressed cow needs a well deserved break and a pat on the back for a month + of work well done.
On a side note, I absolutely dislike it when people keep probing about my breastfeeding attempts. I shall articulate it to the world here... I am exclusively pumping, breastfeeding doesn't work for me and the baby.I am already doing the BEST I can, the BEST I know how... So let me be. please!
Mommy Diaries Entry 2
I'm almost through the day alone with Alyssa!
Confinement is done, mom is gone, and I'm left alone with Alyssa. I think we did quite well today! =D
Short short updates:
Confinement - I actually enjoyed my confinement. The food was awesome actually =D But towards the last week, I decided I shall stay away from ginger and sesame oil for a while. Credits to my mom and mother in law for cooking up a storm of wonderfully delicious food breakfast, lunch, and dinner! Oooo the only part of confinement I absolutely disliked was the "not being allowed to bathe" part. Which I only adhered to for the first 6 days.. yes... 6 days of no bath!! Yuck!
Baby's milestones - My girl's neck is VERY STRONG. She could lift her neck on her own at day 4! And now, (1 month) she can lift her head and back (sometimes aided by her legs to kick up on me) for a good 1 min! Amazing right?? I'm so proud! She is very inquisitive (from her daddy). She loves loves loves to just observe. Many times the best way to sooth her is to take her around and show her new things, especially new faces. She was so amazed and glued to the many many new faces she saw yesterday!
She is a VERY noisy sleeper. Lots of grunts, snorts, yelps.. you name it... she does it in her sleep!! Gosh, this started in her 2nd week and Justin and I were so worried we stayed up all night just checking on her.. only to read from the net that it's perfectly normal =/
Her night time feeds are... well.. not so routine yet.. at times she wakes every 2 hours for feeds, at times (like last night) she wakes only once at 3am, and then again at 7am... so that's real great! But I still wake every 2 hours to express milk. =/
Hm.. I think these are all the important updates. Don't really have time to really blog though. To the joys of parenthood (I am not sarcastic here) =)
Confinement is done, mom is gone, and I'm left alone with Alyssa. I think we did quite well today! =D
Short short updates:
Confinement - I actually enjoyed my confinement. The food was awesome actually =D But towards the last week, I decided I shall stay away from ginger and sesame oil for a while. Credits to my mom and mother in law for cooking up a storm of wonderfully delicious food breakfast, lunch, and dinner! Oooo the only part of confinement I absolutely disliked was the "not being allowed to bathe" part. Which I only adhered to for the first 6 days.. yes... 6 days of no bath!! Yuck!
Baby's milestones - My girl's neck is VERY STRONG. She could lift her neck on her own at day 4! And now, (1 month) she can lift her head and back (sometimes aided by her legs to kick up on me) for a good 1 min! Amazing right?? I'm so proud! She is very inquisitive (from her daddy). She loves loves loves to just observe. Many times the best way to sooth her is to take her around and show her new things, especially new faces. She was so amazed and glued to the many many new faces she saw yesterday!
She is a VERY noisy sleeper. Lots of grunts, snorts, yelps.. you name it... she does it in her sleep!! Gosh, this started in her 2nd week and Justin and I were so worried we stayed up all night just checking on her.. only to read from the net that it's perfectly normal =/
Her night time feeds are... well.. not so routine yet.. at times she wakes every 2 hours for feeds, at times (like last night) she wakes only once at 3am, and then again at 7am... so that's real great! But I still wake every 2 hours to express milk. =/
Hm.. I think these are all the important updates. Don't really have time to really blog though. To the joys of parenthood (I am not sarcastic here) =)
The Mommy Diary - Entry 1: Week 3
Today was a good day =) Despite only having about 3 hours of sleep, for met was a good day =)
Spent half the day home alone with Alyssa. Mom's at camp and Justin was at work I sorta dreaded tday in fear that I wouldn't be able to cope. But thank God all went well. Hooray!
I know I have to sorta make a note of the past 3 weeks, because they flew by! And before I know it, I'd forgotten lots of things.
So I shall place a note here on the things I have to blog about and actually write when I have the time.
1. weekly highlights
2. feelings/thoughts
3. the confinement experience
till I find the time to blog, tata!
Spent half the day home alone with Alyssa. Mom's at camp and Justin was at work I sorta dreaded tday in fear that I wouldn't be able to cope. But thank God all went well. Hooray!
I know I have to sorta make a note of the past 3 weeks, because they flew by! And before I know it, I'd forgotten lots of things.
So I shall place a note here on the things I have to blog about and actually write when I have the time.
1. weekly highlights
2. feelings/thoughts
3. the confinement experience
till I find the time to blog, tata!
The Personal God
Exactly 365 days. That's how long the wait took.
20th May 2009 was a day my heart felt it was ripped into a million pieces. My eyes cried till they could no longer cry, and my head ached with every thought that came. I had questions - many... anger - so much... And what followed were months of silence until one Sunday, 2 months later, all I was told was "just a little longer, just a little longer". I held onto this, not knowing for sure if it was my desperate heart speaking or the gentle whisper of my Lord.
20th May 2010 was the date my gynae set for the C-section. It rang a bell straight away... It was a day I was wondering how I'd spend seeing it was the day we realised we lost our first child. Seems that God had it all planned... it was supposed to be a day of mourning, but He turned it into dancing. It was supposed to be a day of gloom, but He turned it into a day of rejoicing! Still my hard head and skeptical mind thought... "what a coincidence... maybe this wasn't really divine intervention, maybe it was just coincidental...after all... we don't even know if baby is ready to be brought into the world... the C-sect may just be us yanking her out prematurely".
I thought this until 5.15am on 20th May 2010 when my waters broke... then I knew... I knew she was ready, and I knew this was God. He had it all planned... And we never saw it coming...
365 days was how long we had to wait... truly Father, it was just a little longer.
This is the personal God I know and love... Lord, You who made the heavens and the earth would stoop down to earth to plan and orchestrate something so "small" just for us... You knew our heart's desires and You chose to bless us this way... There is none like You.
I love You Lord, with all my heart I can truly say I love You.
We still miss our first baby. We always will... Death is temporary - that's the truth of Jesus. One day we will be reunited with him/her, we will know his/her face, get to hold him/her for all eternity. When that time comes, NOTHING can separate us again.
20th May 2009 was a day my heart felt it was ripped into a million pieces. My eyes cried till they could no longer cry, and my head ached with every thought that came. I had questions - many... anger - so much... And what followed were months of silence until one Sunday, 2 months later, all I was told was "just a little longer, just a little longer". I held onto this, not knowing for sure if it was my desperate heart speaking or the gentle whisper of my Lord.
20th May 2010 was the date my gynae set for the C-section. It rang a bell straight away... It was a day I was wondering how I'd spend seeing it was the day we realised we lost our first child. Seems that God had it all planned... it was supposed to be a day of mourning, but He turned it into dancing. It was supposed to be a day of gloom, but He turned it into a day of rejoicing! Still my hard head and skeptical mind thought... "what a coincidence... maybe this wasn't really divine intervention, maybe it was just coincidental...after all... we don't even know if baby is ready to be brought into the world... the C-sect may just be us yanking her out prematurely".
I thought this until 5.15am on 20th May 2010 when my waters broke... then I knew... I knew she was ready, and I knew this was God. He had it all planned... And we never saw it coming...
365 days was how long we had to wait... truly Father, it was just a little longer.
This is the personal God I know and love... Lord, You who made the heavens and the earth would stoop down to earth to plan and orchestrate something so "small" just for us... You knew our heart's desires and You chose to bless us this way... There is none like You.
I love You Lord, with all my heart I can truly say I love You.
We still miss our first baby. We always will... Death is temporary - that's the truth of Jesus. One day we will be reunited with him/her, we will know his/her face, get to hold him/her for all eternity. When that time comes, NOTHING can separate us again.
How it all happened
From my previous post, many would've known that Alyssa was scheduled to be delivered by C-section. Here's how it went.
19th May 2010
We "check-ed in" to SDMC at 7pm, Justin went to settle admission procedures while I was on the 3rd floor labor ward being briefed on the "events" that were to follow. I remember feeling excited on one hand yet jittery... All I remember telling myself was "where's my husband? I need my husband!" =) Justin came back shortly and we requested to leave for dinner.
Since this would be our "last" dinner before we become a family, we decided to splurge on something nice, God was so good! Of all the Jap restaurants (yes we love Jap food!), Justin picked a REALLY great one, price was right and food was simply superb! Had a nice reflective
dinner and headed back to the hospital.
It was disappointing, though we had registered our interest for a single room so Justin could stay the night, no single rooms were available... we spent the night just talking and cuddling until it was time for Justin to leave. We were still harboring hopes that baby would turn in the right position so I'll be spared the C-sect.
Dr. Tang came in at 11pm to check on me, and baby was still head up. *sigh* At that point, I prayed a prayer of release. I told God to do as He pleased, what was important was that I remained obedient because He had only our best in mind.
The night was horrid... being a very light sleeper, any noise would keep me awake... Imagine listening to the orchestra of snores throughout the night from my roommate. =/ And then when I could finally dose off, nurses would come and check for blood pressure and temperature. I remember texting my sister in UK and having her keep me company.
20th May 2010:
At 4am, contractions started, moderately strong period cramps that would come and go. I curled up into a ball on my side and tried to sleep. At 5.15am a gush of warm fluid greeted me. I jumped, and it clicked - my waters broke!!! This was really significant for me...because ever since being told I had to go through a C-sect, our greatest fears were that we'd be bringing our baby into the world earlier than she'd like. But my waters breaking that morning was taken as a sign from God of His reassurance that His timing is perfect. =) I shall blog about this in my next post. I called Justin and he rushed to hospital. It was wonderful having him by my side =)
Called for the nurse and she performed a check for cervix dilation - this was VERY uncomfortable!! I was 1 cm dilated. She then hooked me up on a CTG and I was told to count contractions. I had strong ones lasting 20 seconds, being 2 mins apart. If I remembered what I read, those were some pretty good contractions! Another nurse came in 30 mins later, and exclaimed, "Superb contractions! You can beat any woman in advance labor", I was 1.5cm dilated then. Oooh yes, the breathing techniques REALLY WORK. But playing Tetris worked even better!! hehehe.
Dr. Tang was notified, and she came into check on me at 7am, baby was still head up. So my C-sect was bumped up from 9.30am t0 8am.
Nurse came in to put in my Catheter... which I hated. It's a tube inserted to drain your pee. =( very uncomfortable.
I was then wheeled out of my room to the OT, said bye bye to Justin.
In the OT I had music to listen to, courtesy of the anesthesiologist, which did a superb job! Felt no pain with all the needles and IV lines inserted into me =) Good job Dr. Ngun!
Then came the big moment, in a matter of what seemed to be 20-25 mins, Dr. Tang said, here comes your baby.. *pause* Aiya.... stuck... Seems that a part of her was stuck somewhere in me. So Dr. Tang gave a few hard yanks, I felt my body being tugged from side to side, and finally my baby girl was out!! Moments later, I heard a hearty cry! First thought, Ohhh my, such strong lungs.. I didn't get to see her immediately though... nurses cleaned her up, and 10 mins later, she was placed next to me... Eyes wide, rosy cheeks... I teared. =)
An hour later, I was back in my room.
Everything happened so quickly... on hindsight, all I really want to say is Lord You are so so good! Your grace is exceeding, abundant, so far above and beyond anything we even dare ask for!
As I'm typing, my baby is by my side.. so peaceful... *sigh* =)
19th May 2010
We "check-ed in" to SDMC at 7pm, Justin went to settle admission procedures while I was on the 3rd floor labor ward being briefed on the "events" that were to follow. I remember feeling excited on one hand yet jittery... All I remember telling myself was "where's my husband? I need my husband!" =) Justin came back shortly and we requested to leave for dinner.
Since this would be our "last" dinner before we become a family, we decided to splurge on something nice, God was so good! Of all the Jap restaurants (yes we love Jap food!), Justin picked a REALLY great one, price was right and food was simply superb! Had a nice reflective
dinner and headed back to the hospital.
It was disappointing, though we had registered our interest for a single room so Justin could stay the night, no single rooms were available... we spent the night just talking and cuddling until it was time for Justin to leave. We were still harboring hopes that baby would turn in the right position so I'll be spared the C-sect.
Dr. Tang came in at 11pm to check on me, and baby was still head up. *sigh* At that point, I prayed a prayer of release. I told God to do as He pleased, what was important was that I remained obedient because He had only our best in mind.
The night was horrid... being a very light sleeper, any noise would keep me awake... Imagine listening to the orchestra of snores throughout the night from my roommate. =/ And then when I could finally dose off, nurses would come and check for blood pressure and temperature. I remember texting my sister in UK and having her keep me company.
20th May 2010:
At 4am, contractions started, moderately strong period cramps that would come and go. I curled up into a ball on my side and tried to sleep. At 5.15am a gush of warm fluid greeted me. I jumped, and it clicked - my waters broke!!! This was really significant for me...because ever since being told I had to go through a C-sect, our greatest fears were that we'd be bringing our baby into the world earlier than she'd like. But my waters breaking that morning was taken as a sign from God of His reassurance that His timing is perfect. =) I shall blog about this in my next post. I called Justin and he rushed to hospital. It was wonderful having him by my side =)
Called for the nurse and she performed a check for cervix dilation - this was VERY uncomfortable!! I was 1 cm dilated. She then hooked me up on a CTG and I was told to count contractions. I had strong ones lasting 20 seconds, being 2 mins apart. If I remembered what I read, those were some pretty good contractions! Another nurse came in 30 mins later, and exclaimed, "Superb contractions! You can beat any woman in advance labor", I was 1.5cm dilated then. Oooh yes, the breathing techniques REALLY WORK. But playing Tetris worked even better!! hehehe.
Dr. Tang was notified, and she came into check on me at 7am, baby was still head up. So my C-sect was bumped up from 9.30am t0 8am.
Nurse came in to put in my Catheter... which I hated. It's a tube inserted to drain your pee. =( very uncomfortable.
I was then wheeled out of my room to the OT, said bye bye to Justin.
In the OT I had music to listen to, courtesy of the anesthesiologist, which did a superb job! Felt no pain with all the needles and IV lines inserted into me =) Good job Dr. Ngun!
Then came the big moment, in a matter of what seemed to be 20-25 mins, Dr. Tang said, here comes your baby.. *pause* Aiya.... stuck... Seems that a part of her was stuck somewhere in me. So Dr. Tang gave a few hard yanks, I felt my body being tugged from side to side, and finally my baby girl was out!! Moments later, I heard a hearty cry! First thought, Ohhh my, such strong lungs.. I didn't get to see her immediately though... nurses cleaned her up, and 10 mins later, she was placed next to me... Eyes wide, rosy cheeks... I teared. =)
An hour later, I was back in my room.
Everything happened so quickly... on hindsight, all I really want to say is Lord You are so so good! Your grace is exceeding, abundant, so far above and beyond anything we even dare ask for!
As I'm typing, my baby is by my side.. so peaceful... *sigh* =)
"Final" day off
Yeap, I have the day off today, following the Saturday Homeschool Sports Day.
Realised that this is the very last day off I'll have.. ALL to myself for a while. Reason being: our daughter's going to be delivered this Thursday =)
The story is such: We went for our routine checkup last Wednesday where I was hooked up to a CTG to monitor baby's heartbeat as well as uterine contractions. After 40 minutes of staring at the ceiling and occasionally falling asleep, the verdict was this - baby's heartbeat is happy and healthy, and mommy's uterus is indeed contracting. The gynae then proceeded to explain that my contractions were strong. To illustrate how strong, she added that if I were a 2nd time mommy, these contractions would signal that I'm at least 2-3cm dilated. Yeap.
Now the "problem" was this... baby was still breech - head up, feet below. And in her experience, once contractions like that start it will be not more than 2 weeks and real labor will start. She couldn't have that happen because if labor should start and baby's legs or umbilical cord drop out first.. it will be life threatening to the baby. So in short, she scheduled me for a C-section this Thursday 20th May 2010.
It took me a few days to fully digest this. In my mind, I had 3 weeks more to prepare for her arrival... all of a sudden, that was knocked down to 8 days! Also I was worried that she'd only be 37weeks and 5 days on the day of the C-sect, but doc said that she was a good size and there was nothing to worry about.. Her estimated fetal weight = 3.1kg.
I guess the biggest thing for me is that I felt somewhat incompetent... somewhat as though I'm not able to perform one of nature's most natural functions. =/ That's a story for another day.
It's been a few days since, and many people have been telling me that they feel strongly that our girl's going to turn at the last minute and I won't need a C-sect!!! I say, keep praying and keep believing!! That's what we're doing now, we're going to be admitted as planned, and pray that when they do the final scan, she'll be right side up =)
Keep us in prayers will you? =)
Realised that this is the very last day off I'll have.. ALL to myself for a while. Reason being: our daughter's going to be delivered this Thursday =)
The story is such: We went for our routine checkup last Wednesday where I was hooked up to a CTG to monitor baby's heartbeat as well as uterine contractions. After 40 minutes of staring at the ceiling and occasionally falling asleep, the verdict was this - baby's heartbeat is happy and healthy, and mommy's uterus is indeed contracting. The gynae then proceeded to explain that my contractions were strong. To illustrate how strong, she added that if I were a 2nd time mommy, these contractions would signal that I'm at least 2-3cm dilated. Yeap.
Now the "problem" was this... baby was still breech - head up, feet below. And in her experience, once contractions like that start it will be not more than 2 weeks and real labor will start. She couldn't have that happen because if labor should start and baby's legs or umbilical cord drop out first.. it will be life threatening to the baby. So in short, she scheduled me for a C-section this Thursday 20th May 2010.
It took me a few days to fully digest this. In my mind, I had 3 weeks more to prepare for her arrival... all of a sudden, that was knocked down to 8 days! Also I was worried that she'd only be 37weeks and 5 days on the day of the C-sect, but doc said that she was a good size and there was nothing to worry about.. Her estimated fetal weight = 3.1kg.
I guess the biggest thing for me is that I felt somewhat incompetent... somewhat as though I'm not able to perform one of nature's most natural functions. =/ That's a story for another day.
It's been a few days since, and many people have been telling me that they feel strongly that our girl's going to turn at the last minute and I won't need a C-sect!!! I say, keep praying and keep believing!! That's what we're doing now, we're going to be admitted as planned, and pray that when they do the final scan, she'll be right side up =)
Keep us in prayers will you? =)
My Feet!!!! *Gasps*
My poor feet and legs now resemble those of an elephant =( My once dainty slender feet are now puffy... =( This is the plague of Edema (water retention). And it started getting bad on Saturday... Just today, the swelling went up to my knees and squatting down made me feel as though my skin was going to burst open and rivers of water would flow out from my legs... =(
Remedies:
Propping up my feet whenever possible
drinking lots of water
On a more positive note, baby's coming soon!!!
Hooray!!
Remedies:
Propping up my feet whenever possible
drinking lots of water
On a more positive note, baby's coming soon!!!
Hooray!!
Baby Spurts - week 34
Welcome Week 34!
How your baby's growing:
Your baby now weighs about 4 3/4 pounds (like your average cantaloupe) and is almost 18 inches long. Her fat layers — which will help regulate her body temperature once she's born — are filling her out, making her rounder. Her skin is also smoother than ever. Her central nervous system is maturing and her lungs are continuing to mature as well. If you've been nervous about preterm labor, you'll be happy to know that babies born between 34 and 37 weeks who have no other health problems generally do fine. They may need a short stay in the neonatal nursery and may have a few short-term health issues, but in the long run, they usually do as well as full-term babies.See what your baby looks like this week.
Note: Every baby develops a little differently — even in the womb. Our information is designed to give you a general idea of your baby's development.
How your life's changing:
By this week, fatigue has probably set in again, though maybe not with the same coma-like intensity of your first trimester. Your tiredness is perfectly understandable, given the physical strain you're under and the restless nights of frequent pee breaks and tossing and turning, while trying to get comfortable. Now's the time to slow down and save up your energy for labor day (and beyond). If you've been sitting or lying down for a long time, don't jump up too quickly. Blood can pool in your feet and legs, causing a temporary drop in your blood pressure when you get up that can make you feel dizzy.If you notice itchy red bumps or welts on your belly and possibly your thighs and buttocks as well, you may have a condition called pruritic urticarial papules and plaques of pregnancy (PUPPP for short). Up to one percent of pregnant women develop PUPPP, which is harmless but can be quite uncomfortable. See your practitioner so she can make sure it's not a more serious problem, provide treatment to make you more comfortable, and refer you to a dermatologist if necessary. Also be sure to call her if you feel intense itchiness all over your body, even if you don't have a rash. It could signal a liver problem.
Slide your way to slumber "In the third trimester, turning over in bed is a nightmare. The solution? Big satin pajamas and even satin sheets — the slipperiness of satin helps tremendously!" — Carrie
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burps Labels:
Momma bump
burps Labels:
Momma bump
Momma Bump - 33 & 34 weeks
Hello!!
Here's momma bump taken on the 34th week =) Measurement: 104cm. Current weight 61kg... =(
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Here's momma bump taken on the 34th week =) Measurement: 104cm. Current weight 61kg... =(
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Darn those Hormones!!
I grew up believing that hormone-related moodswings were... a cop out. That is, it is possible to control those emotions. And I don't remember having an episode of the "once a month psychotic break".
Here I am in the final weeks of my pregnancy and I'm finding it hard to fight those emotions... This week has been especially tiring. Out of no where I just start feeling blue. No antecedent... It's just BANG, and I feel bad... and my tear ducts become oh-so-weak.
Now I'm sitting in my room and crying to Two is Better than One by boys like girls. Do you know how silly that sounds?? It's a happy love song for goodness' sake!! Sigh...
And today in antenatal class, I actually teared at a delivery video!! A lump in my throat developed when the lady in the video was huffing, puffing, and pushing. Then when her baby came out. My heart skipped a few beats and I fought so hard to hold in the tears.. and not risk looking like a complete idiot!
I just feel so out of control... Darn those hormones!! Oh Lord.. just a few more weeks... Hold me.. please hold me now...
Here I am in the final weeks of my pregnancy and I'm finding it hard to fight those emotions... This week has been especially tiring. Out of no where I just start feeling blue. No antecedent... It's just BANG, and I feel bad... and my tear ducts become oh-so-weak.
Now I'm sitting in my room and crying to Two is Better than One by boys like girls. Do you know how silly that sounds?? It's a happy love song for goodness' sake!! Sigh...
And today in antenatal class, I actually teared at a delivery video!! A lump in my throat developed when the lady in the video was huffing, puffing, and pushing. Then when her baby came out. My heart skipped a few beats and I fought so hard to hold in the tears.. and not risk looking like a complete idiot!
I just feel so out of control... Darn those hormones!! Oh Lord.. just a few more weeks... Hold me.. please hold me now...
The CTG Experience
Our last checkup was on Wednesday, and everything was great, except that she's still breech. =( Justin's still calm about it though.
Then yesterday, her movements changed a little. She was less active. Her normal pattern is such:
She wakes when I wake, usually around 8.15am. There are usually a few nudges here and there, nothing big or sudden (typical of a girl rite? =D).
At about 9.30-10.15, she really starts her morning aerobics. Lots of big waves on mommy's tummy, and it seems as tough she's really close to the surface. So a gentle rub on my tummy and you'll be able to feel her! This continues on till about 11.30 or so. Usually she finishes her 10 movements around this time.
Then there's a short break for lunch and after lunch, she's probably energized by the food or annoyed by the sounds of my digestion, so she moves and squirms again!
Then it's lots of rest till about 2.30pm. Rest again till 3.30ish -4pm. That's when she's super super active again! Then we leave office, she enjoys the car ride and falls asleep again till 6pm when daddy comes home. She moves about when he's back. She most probably misses his voice after a long day of listening to screaming mommy and her screaming students.
After that, she's quiet till after dinner. And in the past week, has been awake somewhere around 9pm. When I sleep, she sleeps. The routine continues.
Yesterday she didn't follow the routine. In fact her 10 movements finished at 1pm. And at 4, she wasn't moving much. This carried on till the night. Moved about when daddy came home, but after that, nothing much... My night was spent trying to relax, prop my legs up, lie on my side, everything, to try to make her move. And nope.. nothing much.. I prayed and prayed... But my emotions were all over the place and it was just so hard to listen to Him...
That's when we started to really worry. cause we've heard how these atypical movements can signal that the cord is entangled, or around baby's neck etc... and the midwives in antenatal class and at the hospital mentioned to just go to the emergency ward should any variance in movement happen.
We tossed and turned, weighed the pros and cons and finally decided, at 12.30am, to visit the emergency ward for a CTG (cardiotocograph) which jots down baby's heartbeat. This can give insight as to whether there's anything wrong e.g. cord round neck, etc.
2 discs were strapped to my bump and I heard her heartbeat for a full 25 mins. It was amazing to hear her heart go. But then my heart would skip a beat when it became faster/slower. And I also heard her kick the discs, big "doof, doof" ... Must've been invading her space. =)
So yeap, the midwife assured us that she was very active, told me to get some rest and to learn to worry less (yeap... hehehe). And this cost us RM71.
We left the hospital at 1.20am and were seriously drained. But Justin reminded me, that trading a little sleep and money for assurance that our girl is fine was worth it. =) He even joked "Hey, so now we can say that we've had the CTG experience!" hahahhaha. I love my husband, he's just so cute!!!
To all my friends out there who are worry-warts like me... one thing I've learned, since we're no expert in this, and there's no way can tell if everything's alright... there's nothing wrong in being extra cautious. As the midwives said, once you feel off, just pay a visit to the ward and get a CTG done, it doesn't harm the baby, it's affordable, and most importantly, it's better to be safe than sorry. =)
Thank God everything's fine!!! =D
p.s, today, she's back to normal.. in fact, she's more active today... it's like she was making up for yesterday.
Then yesterday, her movements changed a little. She was less active. Her normal pattern is such:
She wakes when I wake, usually around 8.15am. There are usually a few nudges here and there, nothing big or sudden (typical of a girl rite? =D).
At about 9.30-10.15, she really starts her morning aerobics. Lots of big waves on mommy's tummy, and it seems as tough she's really close to the surface. So a gentle rub on my tummy and you'll be able to feel her! This continues on till about 11.30 or so. Usually she finishes her 10 movements around this time.
Then there's a short break for lunch and after lunch, she's probably energized by the food or annoyed by the sounds of my digestion, so she moves and squirms again!
Then it's lots of rest till about 2.30pm. Rest again till 3.30ish -4pm. That's when she's super super active again! Then we leave office, she enjoys the car ride and falls asleep again till 6pm when daddy comes home. She moves about when he's back. She most probably misses his voice after a long day of listening to screaming mommy and her screaming students.
After that, she's quiet till after dinner. And in the past week, has been awake somewhere around 9pm. When I sleep, she sleeps. The routine continues.
Yesterday she didn't follow the routine. In fact her 10 movements finished at 1pm. And at 4, she wasn't moving much. This carried on till the night. Moved about when daddy came home, but after that, nothing much... My night was spent trying to relax, prop my legs up, lie on my side, everything, to try to make her move. And nope.. nothing much.. I prayed and prayed... But my emotions were all over the place and it was just so hard to listen to Him...
That's when we started to really worry. cause we've heard how these atypical movements can signal that the cord is entangled, or around baby's neck etc... and the midwives in antenatal class and at the hospital mentioned to just go to the emergency ward should any variance in movement happen.
We tossed and turned, weighed the pros and cons and finally decided, at 12.30am, to visit the emergency ward for a CTG (cardiotocograph) which jots down baby's heartbeat. This can give insight as to whether there's anything wrong e.g. cord round neck, etc.
2 discs were strapped to my bump and I heard her heartbeat for a full 25 mins. It was amazing to hear her heart go. But then my heart would skip a beat when it became faster/slower. And I also heard her kick the discs, big "doof, doof" ... Must've been invading her space. =)
So yeap, the midwife assured us that she was very active, told me to get some rest and to learn to worry less (yeap... hehehe). And this cost us RM71.
We left the hospital at 1.20am and were seriously drained. But Justin reminded me, that trading a little sleep and money for assurance that our girl is fine was worth it. =) He even joked "Hey, so now we can say that we've had the CTG experience!" hahahhaha. I love my husband, he's just so cute!!!
To all my friends out there who are worry-warts like me... one thing I've learned, since we're no expert in this, and there's no way can tell if everything's alright... there's nothing wrong in being extra cautious. As the midwives said, once you feel off, just pay a visit to the ward and get a CTG done, it doesn't harm the baby, it's affordable, and most importantly, it's better to be safe than sorry. =)
Thank God everything's fine!!! =D
p.s, today, she's back to normal.. in fact, she's more active today... it's like she was making up for yesterday.
Feeling a little teary-eyed
I didn't enjoy today's antenatal class. Mainly because I've been feeling 'off' this whole day. For the whole day a cloud of heaviness has been following me. And I just realised it's the feeling of being overwhelmed.
Antenatal class covered topics on labor and breastfeeding. All of a sudden I just felt this great burden. I kept thinking, I'm not ready for this... how am I going to cope with... and with ... and with ... and then with....
Now it's just spiraled down to me wondering if I'll even make a decent mother. This tiny helpless, defenseless baby is mine to care for... I am her primary caregiver... Her life will depend on how well I do.
At this point, I just wish I could keep her inside of me... At least I won't need to stress if she's getting enough food, sleep etc.
And then there was a segment in the class where the trainer described labor and said that it will be painful... very painful... And all those horror stories I read and heard about came to mind... So right now I'm feeling... just overwhelmed.
On top of that, my laptop decided to crash. For no good reason, crash! Blue screens have flashed acrossed my eyes this entire evening. I've not mentioned, it's still new!
So I am teary-eyed now... All of a sudden... things just seem to insurmountable and scary... All of a sudden, I just feel so small...
Is this just the hormones?
Antenatal class covered topics on labor and breastfeeding. All of a sudden I just felt this great burden. I kept thinking, I'm not ready for this... how am I going to cope with... and with ... and with ... and then with....
Now it's just spiraled down to me wondering if I'll even make a decent mother. This tiny helpless, defenseless baby is mine to care for... I am her primary caregiver... Her life will depend on how well I do.
At this point, I just wish I could keep her inside of me... At least I won't need to stress if she's getting enough food, sleep etc.
And then there was a segment in the class where the trainer described labor and said that it will be painful... very painful... And all those horror stories I read and heard about came to mind... So right now I'm feeling... just overwhelmed.
On top of that, my laptop decided to crash. For no good reason, crash! Blue screens have flashed acrossed my eyes this entire evening. I've not mentioned, it's still new!
So I am teary-eyed now... All of a sudden... things just seem to insurmountable and scary... All of a sudden, I just feel so small...
Is this just the hormones?
Momma bump - week 31
Here's a pic of my bump for last week =)
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Waist currently measures 102.5cm =)
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Waist currently measures 102.5cm =)
Baby Registry is Officially Open!
We would like to hereby announce the opening of our Baby Registry!!
We already have a few items taken up by wonderful wonderful friends (THANK YOU!)
Feel free to browse our page should you like to bless our little one with a gift =)
Once again, thank you for dropping by!
.:Baby Registry:.
Love,
Justin & Sher
We already have a few items taken up by wonderful wonderful friends (THANK YOU!)
Feel free to browse our page should you like to bless our little one with a gift =)
Once again, thank you for dropping by!
.:Baby Registry:.
Love,
Justin & Sher
Things people don't talk about
I've always had a habit of being a busy body. Especially when it came to things that I knew I would one day be a part of, e.g. relationships, marriage, parenting. So I remember listening attentively to older women talk (or gossip) about their marriage, spouse, parenting, kids etc. Kinda my way of researching if you'd like.
But I've realised that being Asian means that there will bound to be things people won't talk about. Afterall, we've always been told never to "show our dirty linen" to the entire neighborhood. =/ There are heaps of truths in that wise saying. But sometimes I can't help but wonder... whether the world would be a better and less scarier place if people owned up once in a while that life ain't perfect instead of trying hard to cover everything up and create this facade. But hey, this is just strictly my own opinion.
My husband is a very private person, whereas I'm a little more.. opened. Because we are one, a lot of my reflections, speed bumps, trials and such involve him as well. So how much to share, when to share, to whom to share has to be taken into consideration. I shall attempt today to share a little of what I've been going through these past 32 weeks and 2 days.
1st trimester:
Finding out we were pregnant was a bit of a shocker. I've always known when I ovulated. That September 09, we had decided to try again and to my dismay, no signs of ovulation emerged. Only thing different was that we argued alot. I was constantly angry at anything and everything. Poor Justin. =( When we got back from a short trip to Singapore, something just didn't feel the same, and I told Justin, i'm 2 days late (but that's nothing big cause I've been later than that before). Did a pregnancy test and a very faint line appeared, tried again 2 days later and voila, a nice positive mark. I was happy, but I think... at that point I was more anxious and worried than happy... afterall... we had just lost a child 3 months ago.
Weeks that followed that were filled with lots of adjustments. Quite quickly I was tired, queasy all day long, and unable to do many things. Justin was shoved straight into assuming the new role of caring for me and himself, doing chores, ironing clothes, listen to my woes and worries etc. He had to (almost within 2 weeks or so) adjust to not having his "wife" and instead, having a sick and paranoid cat to deal with... On hindsight... I can't imagine how hard it must have been for him. As I grew more advanced into morning sickness, I also grew to be more demanding. Hence, took much much more than I gave. Lots of arguments broke forth in this trimester... I think both of us were just not prepared for the physical and emotional changes that came really really quickly after the positive sign appeared. It was as though we had stopped being a couple.
Second trimester:
Things were much better physically for me in this trimester. But for the past 3 months, a pattern had been established where I took and Justin gave. Even when I felt better, I got lazy... I stopped cooking and we stopped talking over the dinner table, we stopped spending time with each other doing couple things. Because all I could think of were things that we needed to get for the baby, baby names, and all things baby! With my new burst of energy, all I wanted to do was shop for all things baby!! Imagine the poor husband... who had his wife on temporary leave of absence for 3 months, to have her back.. only she's too caught up doing things for another person. Sigh...
We argued a whole lot this trimester too... it was a tug of war... On my part I couldn't understand why he was aversive towards the baby, and on his part he couldn't understand why everything changed all of a sudden and why he couldn't have his 'old' wife back.
Third trimester:
With days passing like hours, I admit having my head filled with worries about labor, birth, health and development of my child, the aftermath etc... But it has finally hit me... in 6-7 weeks' time, we'd never be the same again. Two will become three... then there's this sinking feeling that I've wasted many chances in the past few months to spend good quality time with my husband... my partner... my soul mate. Oh Lord.. I pray that we still have time left to mend whatever that needs mending. Amen.
But I've realised that being Asian means that there will bound to be things people won't talk about. Afterall, we've always been told never to "show our dirty linen" to the entire neighborhood. =/ There are heaps of truths in that wise saying. But sometimes I can't help but wonder... whether the world would be a better and less scarier place if people owned up once in a while that life ain't perfect instead of trying hard to cover everything up and create this facade. But hey, this is just strictly my own opinion.
My husband is a very private person, whereas I'm a little more.. opened. Because we are one, a lot of my reflections, speed bumps, trials and such involve him as well. So how much to share, when to share, to whom to share has to be taken into consideration. I shall attempt today to share a little of what I've been going through these past 32 weeks and 2 days.
1st trimester:
Finding out we were pregnant was a bit of a shocker. I've always known when I ovulated. That September 09, we had decided to try again and to my dismay, no signs of ovulation emerged. Only thing different was that we argued alot. I was constantly angry at anything and everything. Poor Justin. =( When we got back from a short trip to Singapore, something just didn't feel the same, and I told Justin, i'm 2 days late (but that's nothing big cause I've been later than that before). Did a pregnancy test and a very faint line appeared, tried again 2 days later and voila, a nice positive mark. I was happy, but I think... at that point I was more anxious and worried than happy... afterall... we had just lost a child 3 months ago.
Weeks that followed that were filled with lots of adjustments. Quite quickly I was tired, queasy all day long, and unable to do many things. Justin was shoved straight into assuming the new role of caring for me and himself, doing chores, ironing clothes, listen to my woes and worries etc. He had to (almost within 2 weeks or so) adjust to not having his "wife" and instead, having a sick and paranoid cat to deal with... On hindsight... I can't imagine how hard it must have been for him. As I grew more advanced into morning sickness, I also grew to be more demanding. Hence, took much much more than I gave. Lots of arguments broke forth in this trimester... I think both of us were just not prepared for the physical and emotional changes that came really really quickly after the positive sign appeared. It was as though we had stopped being a couple.
Second trimester:
Things were much better physically for me in this trimester. But for the past 3 months, a pattern had been established where I took and Justin gave. Even when I felt better, I got lazy... I stopped cooking and we stopped talking over the dinner table, we stopped spending time with each other doing couple things. Because all I could think of were things that we needed to get for the baby, baby names, and all things baby! With my new burst of energy, all I wanted to do was shop for all things baby!! Imagine the poor husband... who had his wife on temporary leave of absence for 3 months, to have her back.. only she's too caught up doing things for another person. Sigh...
We argued a whole lot this trimester too... it was a tug of war... On my part I couldn't understand why he was aversive towards the baby, and on his part he couldn't understand why everything changed all of a sudden and why he couldn't have his 'old' wife back.
Third trimester:
With days passing like hours, I admit having my head filled with worries about labor, birth, health and development of my child, the aftermath etc... But it has finally hit me... in 6-7 weeks' time, we'd never be the same again. Two will become three... then there's this sinking feeling that I've wasted many chances in the past few months to spend good quality time with my husband... my partner... my soul mate. Oh Lord.. I pray that we still have time left to mend whatever that needs mending. Amen.
Baby Spurts - Week 31
Week 31
How your baby's growing:
This week, your baby measures over 16 inches long. He weighs about 3.3 pounds (try carrying four navel oranges) and is heading into a growth spurt. He can turn his head from side to side, and his arms, legs, and body are beginning to plump out as needed fat accumulates underneath his skin. He's probably moving a lot, too, so you may have trouble sleeping because your baby's kicks and somersaults keep you up. Take comfort: All this moving is a sign that your baby is active and healthy.See what your baby looks like this week.
Note: Every baby develops a little differently — even in the womb. Our information is designed to give you a general idea of your baby's development.
How your life's changing:
Have you noticed the muscles in your uterus tightening now and then? Many women feel these random contractions — called Braxton Hicks contractions — in the second half of pregnancy. Often lasting about 30 seconds, they're irregular, and at this point, they should be infrequent and painless. Frequent contractions, on the other hand — even those that don't hurt — may be a sign of preterm labor. Call your practitioner immediately if you have more than four contractions in an hour or any other signs of preterm labor: an increase in vaginal discharge or a change in the type of discharge (if it becomes watery, mucus-like, or bloody — even if it's pink or just tinged with blood); abdominal pain or menstrual-like cramping; an increase in pressure in the pelvic area; or low back pain, especially if you didn't have it before.You may have noticed some leaking of colostrum, or "premilk," from your breasts lately. If so, try tucking some nursing pads into your bra to protect your clothes. (And if not, it's certainly nothing to worry about; your breasts are making colostrum all the same, even if you don't see any.) If your current bra is too snug, you might also want to pick up a nursing bra. Choose a nursing bra at least one cup size bigger than you need now. When your milk comes in you'll be grateful for that extra room!
If you're having a boy, you and your partner will want to take some time to think about whether or not to have your baby circumcised. Find out the pros and cons from your doctor, and what the procedure involves.
The fun stuff: CLOTHES!!!
Here's the difference between having a baby boy and a baby girl (in my opinion): there's so much more fun shopping for baby girls!!!!
I admit I've been drawn.... very very drawn to little clothes and little shoes!! But.... I haven't bought much. =) Thank God I haven't, cause a month ago, some nice church members blessed our girl with a bag of baby clothes - mint condition and pretty ones too!
I have a small box of clothes I've bought... the real special ones. And here's a peak at my favorites. =)
Last Sunday, my mother in law showed me the fruits of her labor part one! 100% hand sewn and knitted. Isn't she amazing?? Check out the detailing! Her workmanship is out of this world!! Pictures don't really do justice though.
I admit I've been drawn.... very very drawn to little clothes and little shoes!! But.... I haven't bought much. =) Thank God I haven't, cause a month ago, some nice church members blessed our girl with a bag of baby clothes - mint condition and pretty ones too!
I have a small box of clothes I've bought... the real special ones. And here's a peak at my favorites. =)
Last Sunday, my mother in law showed me the fruits of her labor part one! 100% hand sewn and knitted. Isn't she amazing?? Check out the detailing! Her workmanship is out of this world!! Pictures don't really do justice though.
Making waves on my Tummy
Lately our girl's movements have transformed from hard kicks to long strokes. Kinda like those you make when you stretch your limbs, or shift position. With her current size and space constraint, her movements are really visible - they look like waves on my tummy!! hehehehe.
Even now as I'm typing, she's wide awake, busy shifting position and finding a comfy spot for her next nap. =D
This is my new stress relieve during work. I get to watch her move about, and try to imagine which part of her's doing the moving. =D I get this morning shift all to myself. Whereas the night shift belongs to daddy when she entertains him with more waves and heartbeats!
I love this part of pregnancy... Sometimes I wish I'll stay pregnant longer =/
Even now as I'm typing, she's wide awake, busy shifting position and finding a comfy spot for her next nap. =D
This is my new stress relieve during work. I get to watch her move about, and try to imagine which part of her's doing the moving. =D I get this morning shift all to myself. Whereas the night shift belongs to daddy when she entertains him with more waves and heartbeats!
I love this part of pregnancy... Sometimes I wish I'll stay pregnant longer =/
Becoming a father
A father? Aren't they the guys you see on the expressway during school holidays, perched behind the wheel of a Tarago [MPV] filled to bursting with mattresses, bikes, and assorted domestic detritus and through the fingerprint-encrusted window you can see the slightly crazed look on their face... the kind of look that only comes as one enters the eighth hour of listening to repetitive jangly songs about rabbits and choo choo trains?
Taken from "So you're going to be a dad" by Peter Downey.
If you follow my blog, you would notice that I hardly talk about my child that is due delivery in June. Even on the baby blog, I only posted a single entry. This is partly due to the fact that I am quite a private person, keeping most of my inner thoughts and emotions sealed away, privy to only the closest people in my life. Secondly, I wasn't clear about the many emotions I was feeling and was hesitant to share them. I was also feeling some guilt because I was not rejoicing over the fact that I was going to be a dad. But changes to the way of life and problems adapting to it drove me to find ways to adjust. One of them being reading about becoming a dad.
Reading about other dads and their reactions towards the change of their lifetime, I was comforted by the fact that my not-so-enthusiastic response was common among many of them. Here's a line I found represented me very well, almost word for word.
A father? Me? My father is a father! His father was a father. I'm only a son. Worse, I'm just a boy, a child. I've only just left home. I can't even iron my shirts properly. Panic! Changing nappies? Me? - Downey, 2005.
Believe me, it is quite a paradigm shift changing from someone who takes to someone who gives. Being a son denotes having shelter, provisions, and essentially having someone to lean on in times of need. It means having the comfort and total confidence that this someone will take care of you and not let you down. Being a parent means becoming that someone, having your life revolve around your child, providing for and teaching this midget that (should) looks astonishing like you. It means bearing the well being of someone other than you, firmly on your shoulders; that without you, they will surely not survive.
This is a huge responsibility, especially if you were provided for very well by your parents and it was one that scared the heck out of me. I thought I was being selfish and not such a good husband/father-to-be for thinking all these things. But it seems, I am not alone. I too had to learn how to iron my clothes ever since Sher-Mayne got pregnant and was more tired.
So, I will be a dad in less than 2 months time. That is when I will get to hold my child in my arms for the very first time and my life will never be the same again. Believe it or not, it will be the first time I will be holding a baby in my arms. I really do not know what to expect.
Taken from "So you're going to be a dad" by Peter Downey.
If you follow my blog, you would notice that I hardly talk about my child that is due delivery in June. Even on the baby blog, I only posted a single entry. This is partly due to the fact that I am quite a private person, keeping most of my inner thoughts and emotions sealed away, privy to only the closest people in my life. Secondly, I wasn't clear about the many emotions I was feeling and was hesitant to share them. I was also feeling some guilt because I was not rejoicing over the fact that I was going to be a dad. But changes to the way of life and problems adapting to it drove me to find ways to adjust. One of them being reading about becoming a dad.
Reading about other dads and their reactions towards the change of their lifetime, I was comforted by the fact that my not-so-enthusiastic response was common among many of them. Here's a line I found represented me very well, almost word for word.
A father? Me? My father is a father! His father was a father. I'm only a son. Worse, I'm just a boy, a child. I've only just left home. I can't even iron my shirts properly. Panic! Changing nappies? Me? - Downey, 2005.
Believe me, it is quite a paradigm shift changing from someone who takes to someone who gives. Being a son denotes having shelter, provisions, and essentially having someone to lean on in times of need. It means having the comfort and total confidence that this someone will take care of you and not let you down. Being a parent means becoming that someone, having your life revolve around your child, providing for and teaching this midget that (should) looks astonishing like you. It means bearing the well being of someone other than you, firmly on your shoulders; that without you, they will surely not survive.
This is a huge responsibility, especially if you were provided for very well by your parents and it was one that scared the heck out of me. I thought I was being selfish and not such a good husband/father-to-be for thinking all these things. But it seems, I am not alone. I too had to learn how to iron my clothes ever since Sher-Mayne got pregnant and was more tired.
So, I will be a dad in less than 2 months time. That is when I will get to hold my child in my arms for the very first time and my life will never be the same again. Believe it or not, it will be the first time I will be holding a baby in my arms. I really do not know what to expect.
One Year Later
Yesterday, exactly one year ago, I vividly remember waiting anxiously at the gynae's office for more than an hour, and then hearing the news that we were indeed pregnant, although it was still too early and no gestational sac was seen yet. I also remember announcing it at my grandma's. I still think of that baby, we refer to him/her as our first child. Never knew if it was a he/she. I still miss that baby. We named him/her Bubby.
It seems that in the short span of 365 days, we've been through a few years' worth of stuff. And one year later, here we are with baby no. 2 at 30 weeks and 6 days. She's a healthy and strong one who is mostly awake at 10.30am and 10.30pm. Who jiggles a lot when there's smooth jazz or daddy's gentle guitaring in the background.
Looking back at the past 365 days, it's been a heck of a journey. Scares, tears, fears, joys, you name it, we've probably had a sample of most emotions known to man. And after all these days... I find that the only thing I can think of is how Faithful our God has been. He is simply amazing!
Today as I look upon the cross on Good Friday, there's a new understanding on the vastness of His faithfulness... The Crown, the Cross, the Blood, the Salvation, everything is just amazing. To think that the Lord of the Heavens would care for me is just so... Wow.
Lord You are Amazing, exceeding, abundant, above and beyond everything!
p.s Here's a peak of the proud daddy and the bump @ week 30 and 4 days =)
It seems that in the short span of 365 days, we've been through a few years' worth of stuff. And one year later, here we are with baby no. 2 at 30 weeks and 6 days. She's a healthy and strong one who is mostly awake at 10.30am and 10.30pm. Who jiggles a lot when there's smooth jazz or daddy's gentle guitaring in the background.
Looking back at the past 365 days, it's been a heck of a journey. Scares, tears, fears, joys, you name it, we've probably had a sample of most emotions known to man. And after all these days... I find that the only thing I can think of is how Faithful our God has been. He is simply amazing!
Today as I look upon the cross on Good Friday, there's a new understanding on the vastness of His faithfulness... The Crown, the Cross, the Blood, the Salvation, everything is just amazing. To think that the Lord of the Heavens would care for me is just so... Wow.
Lord You are Amazing, exceeding, abundant, above and beyond everything!
p.s Here's a peak of the proud daddy and the bump @ week 30 and 4 days =)
Baby Spurts - Week 30
How your baby's growing:
Your baby's about 15.7 inches long now, and she weighs almost 3 pounds (like a head of cabbage). A pint and a half of amniotic fluid surrounds her, but that volume will decrease as she gets bigger and takes up more room in your uterus. Her eyesight continues to develop, though it's not very keen; even after she's born, she'll keep her eyes closed for a good part of the day. When she does open them, she'll respond to changes in light but will have 20/400 vision — which means she can only make out objects a few inches from her face. (Normal adult vision is 20/20.)See what your baby looks like this week.
Note: Every baby develops a little differently — even in the womb. Our information is designed to give you a general idea of your baby's development.
How your life's changing:
You may be feeling a little tired these days, especially if you're having trouble sleeping. You might also feel clumsier than normal, which is perfectly understandable. Not only are you heavier, but the concentration of weight in your pregnant belly causes a shift in your center of gravity. Plus, thanks to hormonal changes, your ligaments are more lax, so your joints are looser, which may also contribute to your balance being a bit off. Also, this relaxation of your ligaments can actually cause your feet to spread permanently, so you may have to invest in some new shoes in a bigger size.Remember those mood swings you had earlier in pregnancy? The combination of uncomfortable symptoms and hormonal changes can result in a return of those emotional ups and downs. It's normal to worry about what your labor will be like or whether you'll be a good parent. But if you can't shake the blues or feel increasingly irritable or agitated, talk to your doctor or midwife. You may be among the 1 in 10 expectant women who battle depression during pregnancy. Also let your caregiver know if you're frequently nervous or anxious.
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Whale-ly updates
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Whale-ly updates
Whale-ly Updates 15
Went for our 30 week check up yesterday. Everything's good!
- Mom and baby are at ideal weight. And I should just continue on my eating spree (wheee!)
- There's ample amniotic fluid.
- Baby's still bridged (but we're calm and confident that she'll turn in due time)
- I am currently 59.4kg... I was 50 pre-pregnancy
- Antenatal classes are starting next Saturday (we're really excited!)
- I've been getting very little sleep the past week due to pregnancy discomforts but it's good training for the confinement month
- Baby currently weight 1558g!
- We have 9 weeks + to go... Wow
Magical moments
It's been a while since I've felt like myself and had uninterrupted sleep. It's been a while since I've been able to move about without having to be very very careful. It's been a while since I've been able to fit into my nice clothes. It's been a while since I've been able to sleep on my favorite position.
But what makes it worth while is the fact that I'll be seeing our little one in a matter of weeks... and also, the magical magical moments which we both love so much.
Last night we had a magical moment. Baby was having the hiccups... we knew cause it was a very rhythmic thud. Justin couldn't really feel them through my bump so he proceeded to trying to listen for thuds. He heard them alright! And then when the hiccups stopped, he heard something magical.... HEARTBEATS!! He exclaimed and I saw in his eyes... the look of a proud proud daddy! It was so amazing, how I wish I had a stethoscope! Justin listened intently to each beat until she decided to shift position and then the beats were drowned out by the myriad of other noises - digestion and my own heartbeat.
It's really amazing, cause he's been trying to listen for a heartbeat for a while now, and finally without warning, he was surprised with a magical moment!
So I shall note this on 28th March 2010 @ 11.04pm, daddy heard baby's heartbeat through the bump!! =) Approx 180 bpm. =)
But what makes it worth while is the fact that I'll be seeing our little one in a matter of weeks... and also, the magical magical moments which we both love so much.
Last night we had a magical moment. Baby was having the hiccups... we knew cause it was a very rhythmic thud. Justin couldn't really feel them through my bump so he proceeded to trying to listen for thuds. He heard them alright! And then when the hiccups stopped, he heard something magical.... HEARTBEATS!! He exclaimed and I saw in his eyes... the look of a proud proud daddy! It was so amazing, how I wish I had a stethoscope! Justin listened intently to each beat until she decided to shift position and then the beats were drowned out by the myriad of other noises - digestion and my own heartbeat.
It's really amazing, cause he's been trying to listen for a heartbeat for a while now, and finally without warning, he was surprised with a magical moment!
So I shall note this on 28th March 2010 @ 11.04pm, daddy heard baby's heartbeat through the bump!! =) Approx 180 bpm. =)
Of Fears and Guilt...
Since young, I've always wanted to be stay at home mom. In fact I thought that I was going to be a stay at home mom!
When we got pregnant, we knew being a stay at home mom and having comfortable family finances will not be possible. Either one had to go. We sat down, calculated expenditure and realised having a baby would cost... well... alot. And so it became clear that I could not leave my job.
Ever since then I've chucked that aside, focusing on taking the pregnancy one step at a time... kinda like denial. Now with B-day lurking round the corner... I've been noticing that guilt has been creeping up. Questions like... will I be a good enough mom? Will I be missing out on her vital milestones? Will I be giving my baby the best she deserves - the best of me?
Here's what we've planned.... Baby will come to work me with in her 2nd month...Yeap... 2nd month. That's cause I am only allotted 1 month maternity leave. So baby will be with me in a playpen in class or with my dad in his office... And I'll attempt to juggle both work and a baby... My schedule's pretty packed yet fluid at the same time, but of course, I've never done this before and there's no way of guessing if this will work till we actually get there...
I guess we'll do this step by step. Trusting that God can make a way in the harshest of environments, what more this one?
=)
To God be the glory! Amen!
When we got pregnant, we knew being a stay at home mom and having comfortable family finances will not be possible. Either one had to go. We sat down, calculated expenditure and realised having a baby would cost... well... alot. And so it became clear that I could not leave my job.
Ever since then I've chucked that aside, focusing on taking the pregnancy one step at a time... kinda like denial. Now with B-day lurking round the corner... I've been noticing that guilt has been creeping up. Questions like... will I be a good enough mom? Will I be missing out on her vital milestones? Will I be giving my baby the best she deserves - the best of me?
Here's what we've planned.... Baby will come to work me with in her 2nd month...Yeap... 2nd month. That's cause I am only allotted 1 month maternity leave. So baby will be with me in a playpen in class or with my dad in his office... And I'll attempt to juggle both work and a baby... My schedule's pretty packed yet fluid at the same time, but of course, I've never done this before and there's no way of guessing if this will work till we actually get there...
I guess we'll do this step by step. Trusting that God can make a way in the harshest of environments, what more this one?
=)
To God be the glory! Amen!
Jazzy baby?
Last night we were seriously spoiled! Uncle Chris (our dearest dearest and most favorite uncle), doted on us (Justin, I and my cousins) with a wonderful Italian dinner at Sheraton Imperial. This is a place that epitomizes a relaxed, high-class, elegant, romantic dinner!
So, apart from the really good food, superb ambiance, and 5 star service, the main highlight was the live 3-piece jazz band! We didn't manage to get their name though =(. But these people were superb! The best we've heard so far.
I noticed something interesting. Our girl is usually up for about 30 minutes to 1 hour at most, then she sleeps for about 2 hours, then the cycle repeats. But last night, she was awake for a good 2 hours + +. Nicely squirming and kicking about! We were jokingly saying, oooo maybe this baby's like her daddy - a lover of smooth jazz! As soon as the music stopped, so did her movements! Hmmm a coincidence? Probably!
Justin was inspired by the music and decided to play a little jazz when we got home, lo and behold, the movements started again! So this has left us wondering... do we really have a jazzy baby? =D Such good taste our girl has!
So, apart from the really good food, superb ambiance, and 5 star service, the main highlight was the live 3-piece jazz band! We didn't manage to get their name though =(. But these people were superb! The best we've heard so far.
I noticed something interesting. Our girl is usually up for about 30 minutes to 1 hour at most, then she sleeps for about 2 hours, then the cycle repeats. But last night, she was awake for a good 2 hours + +. Nicely squirming and kicking about! We were jokingly saying, oooo maybe this baby's like her daddy - a lover of smooth jazz! As soon as the music stopped, so did her movements! Hmmm a coincidence? Probably!
Justin was inspired by the music and decided to play a little jazz when we got home, lo and behold, the movements started again! So this has left us wondering... do we really have a jazzy baby? =D Such good taste our girl has!
Whale-ly Updates 14
Here's some updates at the start of the 3rd trimester. =)
=)
But I'm really thankful for being given this gift. I love my family.. Hehehe.. As Justin pointed out, we're going to be a family soon. =) Thank You Lord!
- When Justin measured my bump today (29 weeks + 2 days) he said "are you ready for the news?" My eyes went --> O.O He said... 99cm. Wow... Last week it was 97.5cm. Wow.
- My back has been aching =( Can't seem to find a suitable position as my bump gets so much bigger and heavier by the day (I feel)
- My baby girl is still kicking inwards and today, she did lots of dances and squirms... especially when daddy came home. She loves the sound of daddy's voice (much to Justin's delight of course). It's so nice seeing daddy and girl bond like that =D
=)
But I'm really thankful for being given this gift. I love my family.. Hehehe.. As Justin pointed out, we're going to be a family soon. =) Thank You Lord!
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Baby Spurts
burps Labels:
Baby Spurts
Baby Spurts - Week 29
Week 29, we're here!
How your baby's growing:
Your baby now weighs about 2 1/2 pounds (like a butternut squash) and is a tad over 15 inches long from head to heel. His muscles and lungs are continuing to mature, and his head is growing bigger to make room for his developing brain. To meet his increasing nutritional demands, you'll need plenty of protein, vitamins C, folic acid, and iron. And because his bones are soaking up lots of calcium, be sure to drink your milk (or find another good source of calcium, such as cheese, yogurt, or enriched orange juice). This trimester, about 250 milligrams of calcium are deposited in your baby's hardening skeleton each day.See what your baby looks like this week.
Note: Every baby develops a little differently — even in the womb. Our information is designed to give you a general idea of your baby's development.
How your life's changing:
Your baby's very active now. Your practitioner may ask you to spend some time each day counting kicks and will give you specific instructions on how to do this. Let her know if you ever notice a decrease in activity. You may need a nonstress test or biophysical profile to check on your baby's condition.Some old friends — heartburn and constipation — may take center stage now. The pregnancy hormone progesterone relaxes smooth muscle tissue throughout your body, including your gastrointestinal tract. This relaxation, coupled with the crowding in your abdomen, slows digestion, which in turn can cause gas and heartburn — especially after a big meal — and contribute to constipation as well.
Your growing uterus may also be contributing to hemorrhoids. These swollen blood vessels in your rectal area are common during pregnancy and usually clear up in the weeks after giving birth. If they're itchy or painful, try soaking in a sitz bath or applying cold compresses medicated with witch hazel to the affected area. Also avoid sitting or standing for long stretches. Talk with your practitioner before using any over-the counter remedies during pregnancy, and let her know if you have any rectal bleeding. To prevent constipation, eat a high-fiber diet, drink plenty of water, and get some regular exercise.
Some women get something called "supine hypotensive syndrome" during pregnancy, where laying flat on your back causes a change in heart rate and blood pressure that makes you feel dizzy until you change position. You might note that you feel lightheaded if you stand up too quickly, too. To avoid "the spins" lie on your side rather than your back, and move slowly as you go from lying down to sitting and then standing.
Motherhood expo + holes in our pockets
So the long awaited motherhood expo has come and gone. I was exceedingly excited about this sale, because Combi was part of it!!! Since stepping into the Midvalley Combi shop last October, I've been sold on the idea of a Combi stroller and carseat. Finding out that they were one of the top brands in terms of safety and looks kept me visiting their shop everytime I was in Midvalley... just to touch the strollers and to see if new stock has arrived. Came to a point when Justin felt a tad embarrassed cause we were going in and out and never buying anything. So needless to say, after being such a frequent window shopper, that I had memorized their models and prices! So I was really excited to think that they would be giving quite good discounts at the expo.
Our friends in the journey Andrew and Rebecca had scouted the expo and brought back great reports, especially on Combi discounts. So off we went!
We went, we saw, and within 10 minutes, it conquered our wallets. Behold our loot!
Isn't she a beauty?? I liked the black one... beautiful!! But Justin liked this... so we compromised =)
Combi Granpaseo - Natural beige
I'm just sooo excited about this!! This was my second choice, first choice was the Miracle turn model which has 4 wheel drive!! But sadly, it was RM400 more, so we decided to stick to this instead =)
Combi Coccoro - Hazelnut
This weighs an amazing 4.4kg! And has achieve one of the greatest awards in terms of safety testing in Asia and America. =) It's compact so it can fit in my tiny car and what's best is it's suitable from 0 months - 4 years! =) We wanted this carseat in lime green, but stock would only arrive about June, and we needed this to ferry the baby back from the hospital. So we stuck to second best (which was my initial choice!!) - hazelnut color! =D =D
This trip did burn a hole in our pockets.. guess it's fresh air and sunshine for the next few months for us. But all in, we got a discount of RM898 for these two products, a free rain cover worth 100+, and some other smaller freebies. We are satisfied parents! God is so good!!
Finally, the load is almost off our chest. All the biggest purchases have been made... with the exception of a playpen. T_T
There's another expo coming up in May and a huge huge one in August =)
Our friends in the journey Andrew and Rebecca had scouted the expo and brought back great reports, especially on Combi discounts. So off we went!
We went, we saw, and within 10 minutes, it conquered our wallets. Behold our loot!
Isn't she a beauty?? I liked the black one... beautiful!! But Justin liked this... so we compromised =)
Combi Granpaseo - Natural beige
I'm just sooo excited about this!! This was my second choice, first choice was the Miracle turn model which has 4 wheel drive!! But sadly, it was RM400 more, so we decided to stick to this instead =)Combi Coccoro - Hazelnut
This weighs an amazing 4.4kg! And has achieve one of the greatest awards in terms of safety testing in Asia and America. =) It's compact so it can fit in my tiny car and what's best is it's suitable from 0 months - 4 years! =) We wanted this carseat in lime green, but stock would only arrive about June, and we needed this to ferry the baby back from the hospital. So we stuck to second best (which was my initial choice!!) - hazelnut color! =D =D
This trip did burn a hole in our pockets.. guess it's fresh air and sunshine for the next few months for us. But all in, we got a discount of RM898 for these two products, a free rain cover worth 100+, and some other smaller freebies. We are satisfied parents! God is so good!!
Finally, the load is almost off our chest. All the biggest purchases have been made... with the exception of a playpen. T_T
There's another expo coming up in May and a huge huge one in August =)
Full Term?
While reading regular updates from Baby Center... I was surprised.... rather shocked at this bit of information... A baby is considered full term at 37 weeks.. and many mothers deliver their babies around then...
So....
I am currently 28 weeks...
My EDD is calculated based on a 40 week length... which is 5th June.
If Baby Bean Sprout... by the way, is now entering the Bean Stalk mark, so decides to come out earlier.... say... at a bout 38 weeks?
That will leave me.... 10 weeks from delivery???? That's only slightly more than 2 months!!! And that will mean I'll miss the June mark =/
But 10 weeks??? We're so not ready yet!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Panic panic panic panic!
Okkk breathe!!!
On a side note.... we've decided to just go ahead and set up the Baby Registry. As you may notice, the link's located on the top right tool bar. But we've not officially opened the registry yet. Do take a look =)
As mentioned, we're just giving it a try. If we get some givers, Praise God! If not, then it's totally fine as well =)
So....
I am currently 28 weeks...
My EDD is calculated based on a 40 week length... which is 5th June.
If Baby Bean Sprout... by the way, is now entering the Bean Stalk mark, so decides to come out earlier.... say... at a bout 38 weeks?
That will leave me.... 10 weeks from delivery???? That's only slightly more than 2 months!!! And that will mean I'll miss the June mark =/
But 10 weeks??? We're so not ready yet!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Panic panic panic panic!
Okkk breathe!!!
On a side note.... we've decided to just go ahead and set up the Baby Registry. As you may notice, the link's located on the top right tool bar. But we've not officially opened the registry yet. Do take a look =)
As mentioned, we're just giving it a try. If we get some givers, Praise God! If not, then it's totally fine as well =)
Whale-ly Updates 14
Hello!
Some updates
Some updates
- My waist now measures 97.5cm!
- I have this blue black/purplish ring around my belly button... and my belly button's still an innie =D
- Been feeling heavy this past week... especially when baby shift position and lands on my tummy... with the heavy boobs pressing down, and baby pushing up, it gets really uncomfortable.. and I honestly don't feel like eating.
- Baby's movements are not as strong as 2 weeks ago. Starting from last Thursday, I've been feeling much less movements, and the movements are somewhat internal... err... as in, I don't feel her limbs kicking outwards. Feels like she's kicking inwards... get it? Possibly because of her position. Read on the internet that sometimes babies shift positions so that they are facing mom's spine, therefore movements will not be felt as much. So maybe that's why? I'm trying hard not to worry. =) But I've still been counting kicks as the doctor recommended. And she's still been giving me more than 10 movements per day =) It's cute to see my belly change shape sometimes... I still can't figure out which part of her is causing my belly to protrude. Sometimes the right side is more pronounced, then she decides to shift and then the left bulges up! Heheheh. Cute!
- I've been having trouble sleeping.. seriously. Past 3 nights have been horrendous. I find myself wide awake at night because I simply can't find a comfortable position to be in!!! I've tried bolsters, pillows, blankets and all to help, but nothing seems to work for long. Once I get comfy, my bladder calls. =( And I've only just started my 3rd trimester.... babycenter says that from now till 37 weeks, baby's weight will triple!!!!! *faints*
- the round ligament pains are back... after taking a hiatus for the whole 2nd trimester, it has come back... welcome back my old friend..=.= I have to beware of how I turn in bed and get out of bed. One wrong (too fast, too hard) turn and that's it, I'd pull a muscle. So I have to repeat to myself.. gentle sher, gentle, then hold on to my bump and move sllooooowllyy...
- I officially only have 2 pairs of pants I can wear now. I can no longer fit into anything but skirts and dresses!!!! =( The horror....... I've not bought any maternity clothes yet... maybe now's the time to consider at least one pair of pants? But they are grossly overpriced!!!! Grrrr...
- Ooohh I can still see my feet. Muahahahaha!! =D But am having trouble bending down to scrub my toes in the shower now. Very soon, Justin will have to do that for me... Ooh thank God I don't have shoes with shoe laces =D hehehehehe.
Baby Spurts - Week 28
Week 28 (Hello 3rd Trimester)
How your baby's growing:
By this week, your baby weighs two and a quarter pounds (like a Chinese cabbage) and measures 14.8 inches from the top of her head to her heels. She can blink her eyes, which now sport lashes. With her eyesight developing, she may be able to see the light that filters in through your womb. She's also developing billions of neurons in her brain and adding more body fat in preparation for life in the outside world.See what your baby looks like this week. (Or see what fraternal twins look like in the womb this week.)
Note: Every baby develops a little differently — even in the womb. Our information is designed to give you a general idea of your baby's development.
How your life's changing:
You're in the home stretch! The third and final trimester starts this week. If you're like most women, you'll gain about 11 pounds this trimester.At this point, you'll likely visit your doctor or midwife every two weeks. Then, at 36 weeks, you'll switch to weekly visits. Depending on your risk factors, your practitioner may recommend repeating blood tests for HIV and syphilis now, as well as doing cultures for chlamydia and gonorrhea, to be certain of your status before delivery. Also, if your glucose screening test result was high and you haven't yet had follow-up testing, you'll soon be given the 3-hour glucose tolerance test. And if the blood work done at your first prenatal visit showed that you're Rh negative, you'll get an injection of Rh immunoglobulin to prevent your body from developing antibodies that could attack your baby's blood. (If your baby is Rh positive, you'll receive another shot of Rh immunoglobulin after you give birth.)
Around this time, some women feel an unpleasant "creepy-crawly" sensation in their lower legs and an irresistible urge to move them while trying to relax or sleep. If this sensation is at least temporarily relieved when you move, you may have what's known as restless legs syndrome (RLS). No one knows for sure what causes RLS, but it's relatively common among expectant mothers. Try stretching or massaging your legs, and cut down on caffeine, which can make the symptoms worse. Ask your caregiver if you should try iron supplements, which can sometimes relieve RLS.
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burps Labels:
Momma bump
burps Labels:
Momma bump
Momma bump - 27 weeks
Here's Momma bump at week 27!
Huge! The bump now measured 96.5cm =)
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Huge! The bump now measured 96.5cm =)
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burps Labels:
Baby Spurts
burps Labels:
Baby Spurts
Baby Spurts - Week 27
Week 27
How your baby's growing:
This week, your baby weighs almost 2 pounds (like a head of cauliflower) and is about 14 1/2 inches long with her legs extended. She's sleeping and waking at regular intervals, opening and closing her eyes, and perhaps even sucking her fingers. With more brain tissue developing, your baby's brain is very active now. While her lungs are still immature, they would be capable of functioning — with a lot of medical help — if she were to be born now. Chalk up any tiny rhythmic movements you may be feeling to a case of baby hiccups, which may be common from now on. Each episode usually lasts only a few moments, and they don't bother her, so just relax and enjoy the tickle.See what your baby looks like this week.
Note: Every baby develops a little differently — even in the womb. Our information is designed to give you a general idea of your baby's development.
How your life's changing:
The second trimester is drawing to a close, but as your body gears up for the final lap, you may start noticing some new symptoms. Along with an aching back, for example, you may find that your leg muscles cramp up now and then. They're carrying extra weight, after all, and your expanding uterus is putting pressure on the veins that return blood from your legs to your heart as well as on the nerves leading from your trunk to your legs. Unfortunately, the cramps may get worse as your pregnancy progresses. Leg cramps are more common at night but can also happen during the day. When a cramp strikes, stretching the calf muscle should give you some relief. Straighten your leg and then gently flex your toes back toward your shin. Walking for a few minutes or massaging your calf sometimes helps, too.It may be the furthest thing from your mind right now, but it's not too soon to think about family planning. You'll want to have made some decisions about postpartum birth control before your baby arrives. If you're considering a tubal ligation, be aware that most states require you to sign a consent form at least 30 days beforehand. So if you'd like the option of having the surgery during your postpartum hospital stay, don't wait too much longer to discuss it with your caregiver. (You can still change your mind later.)
Beyond orange juice "Need more vitamin C? Try red bell peppers! They have nearly twice the vitamin C of a navel orange, and a half cup is one of the five servings of fruits and vegetables you need each day." — Kayla B.
Surprising Facts: Symptoms you should never ignore
So many aches, pains, and strange feelings arise during pregnancy that it can be hard to decide what's normal and what warrants a call to your doctor or midwife. To complicate matters further, some symptoms may be more or less urgent depending on your particular situation or health history and on how far along you are in your pregnancy. Here's a rundown of symptoms that could be a sign of a problem. If you have any of these complaints, call your doctor or midwife immediately:
Before you reach 37 weeks:
• Pelvic pressure (a feeling that your baby is pushing down), lower back pain (especially if it's a new problem for you), menstrual-like cramping or abdominal pain, or more than four contractions in an hour (even if they don't hurt)
• An increase in vaginal discharge or a change in the type of discharge — if it becomes watery, mucus-like, or bloody (even if it's only pink or blood-tinged)
At any time:
• Your baby is moving or kicking less than usual
• Severe or persistent abdominal pain or tenderness
• Vaginal bleeding or spotting, or watery discharge
• Pain or burning when you urinate, or little or no urination
• Severe or persistent vomiting, or any vomiting accompanied by pain or fever
• Chills or a fever of 100 degrees Fahrenheit or higher
• Blurred or double vision, or seeing spots or "floaters"
• A severe or persistent headache, or any headache accompanied by blurred vision, slurred speech, or numbness
• Any swelling in your face or puffiness around your eyes, anything more than mild swelling in your fingers or hands, or severe or sudden swelling in your legs, feet, or ankles, or a rapid weight gain (more than 4 pounds in a week)
• Severe or persistent leg or calf pain that doesn't ease up when you flex your ankle and point your toes toward your nose, or one leg significantly more swollen than the other
• Trauma to your abdomen
• Fainting, frequent dizziness, rapid heartbeat, or palpitations
• Difficulty breathing, coughing up blood, or chest pain
• Severe constipation accompanied by abdominal pain or severe diarrhea that lasts more than 24 hours
• Persistent intense itching all over
• Any health problem that you'd ordinarily call your practitioner about, even if it's not pregnancy-related (like worsening asthma or a cold that gets worse rather than better)
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burps Labels:
Momma bump
burps Labels:
Momma bump
Momma bump - 26 weeks
Here's week 26 (looks a little smaller than it really is because of the shirt)
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One of those days...2
I'm wondering how many times has God and Justin heard this complaint since I got pregnant... I really am a worry wart...
After blogging about our girl's waking and moving patterns, yesterday things changed again... She was still yesterday... I counted probably 10 movements for the whole day... and even then, they were weak ones... only 3 hard belly-jiggling kicks... Other than that.. she was still... Imagine the worries...
I found myself up almost all night praying and holding on to my bump, trying to feel the slightest movements from my little girl... none.
Her daddy is not as worried as I am... because we've been through this before... where there'll be days she's as still as a rock. But the thought of losing another child is too overwhelming for me... and I find myself torn between entertaining my worries and fighting the battle of faith and believing.
We've come so far... Tomorrow marks the 28th week since we've had her. We've been through many hurdles - psychological and emotional ones. But it feels horrible that even after we've weathered through so many storms, my faith still remains so so small.
I now find myself telling God... Lord, I need to feel my girl kick hard today... please.
Wow.. I just felt her squirm =D Ok Ok!! that's movement number 1 and 2 today!! Hallelujah!
After blogging about our girl's waking and moving patterns, yesterday things changed again... She was still yesterday... I counted probably 10 movements for the whole day... and even then, they were weak ones... only 3 hard belly-jiggling kicks... Other than that.. she was still... Imagine the worries...
I found myself up almost all night praying and holding on to my bump, trying to feel the slightest movements from my little girl... none.
Her daddy is not as worried as I am... because we've been through this before... where there'll be days she's as still as a rock. But the thought of losing another child is too overwhelming for me... and I find myself torn between entertaining my worries and fighting the battle of faith and believing.
We've come so far... Tomorrow marks the 28th week since we've had her. We've been through many hurdles - psychological and emotional ones. But it feels horrible that even after we've weathered through so many storms, my faith still remains so so small.
I now find myself telling God... Lord, I need to feel my girl kick hard today... please.
Wow.. I just felt her squirm =D Ok Ok!! that's movement number 1 and 2 today!! Hallelujah!
Updates updates!
It's been a week now since Baby Bean Sprout has been exhibiting a 'pattern'.
She now wakes up for 20-30 mins, then goes back to sleep for about 2 hours, and then wakes for about 20-30 mins.
She's mostly active in the late mornings and late nights. =) Late night's usually when Justin and I are on the bed talking bout our day, or watching TV together.
Since we've been noticing this pattern of kicking, punching, and squirming during the late nights, we've been really bonding as a family. This mommy will watch attentively as daddy talks to his girl. Sometimes he'll read from his guitar magazine, sometimes he'll tell her about his day, sometimes he'll just speak whatever's on his mind. And the wonderful thing about it is, she responds with huge kicks!! It's almost like there's a conversation between daddy and girl already! I know Justin really loves this too.
Just last night, he had a 15 minute long conversation with her as she packed some real huge kicks and punches right to mommy's sides. Ouchies for me, but glee for daddy. He watched attentively as she created waves under my skin. This daddy was proud. Proud that he could get such reactions and responses outta her!
It is really a joy. Whenever I catch her squirming about, I'd take the time to talk to her. Conversations always start with Hello girl, and she would kick back =) This part of pregnancy is just marvelous.
This is the last week of my 2nd trimester, this Saturday, I'd welcome the 3rd trimester. I've heard from many that the 3rd will be the hardest. I shall just go into it expecting the best, not the worst - to counteract the whole self-fulfilling prophecy scenario. =)
Oh.. I have another testimony post scheduled for after Sunday. =) Stay tuned yes.
She now wakes up for 20-30 mins, then goes back to sleep for about 2 hours, and then wakes for about 20-30 mins.
She's mostly active in the late mornings and late nights. =) Late night's usually when Justin and I are on the bed talking bout our day, or watching TV together.
Since we've been noticing this pattern of kicking, punching, and squirming during the late nights, we've been really bonding as a family. This mommy will watch attentively as daddy talks to his girl. Sometimes he'll read from his guitar magazine, sometimes he'll tell her about his day, sometimes he'll just speak whatever's on his mind. And the wonderful thing about it is, she responds with huge kicks!! It's almost like there's a conversation between daddy and girl already! I know Justin really loves this too.
Just last night, he had a 15 minute long conversation with her as she packed some real huge kicks and punches right to mommy's sides. Ouchies for me, but glee for daddy. He watched attentively as she created waves under my skin. This daddy was proud. Proud that he could get such reactions and responses outta her!
It is really a joy. Whenever I catch her squirming about, I'd take the time to talk to her. Conversations always start with Hello girl, and she would kick back =) This part of pregnancy is just marvelous.
This is the last week of my 2nd trimester, this Saturday, I'd welcome the 3rd trimester. I've heard from many that the 3rd will be the hardest. I shall just go into it expecting the best, not the worst - to counteract the whole self-fulfilling prophecy scenario. =)
Oh.. I have another testimony post scheduled for after Sunday. =) Stay tuned yes.
Gynae visit - 4
It's been a while since I've posted reports on our gynae visits. Kinda forgotten I had this category to blog about =D.
In a nutshell from the ultrasound scan:
1. EFW = 989g (a little higher than normal). So I was advised to cut down on my Anmum milk intake which is fine by me seeing I was stunned with what I found in the pack (will elaborate later).
2. BPD = 68.1mm
3. AC = 213.4mm
4. FL = 52.4mm
5. Amniotic fluid quantity is normal
According to my calculations, baby is supposed to be 26 weeks 3 days. Scans came out to be 27 weeks 1 day, which brought forward my due date to 1st June.
Things to note for this week onwards:
1. Gynae said, start the movement count! 10 movements per day. If anything changes drastically, remember point 2.
2. Should anything happen, go straight to the labor and emergency ward which is open 24/7 =)
Now... my Anmum Materna milk story. I bought a BRAND new box of milk last week, then proceeded to open it. Upon stiring the milk in my cup, I saw black things floating at the surface... Upon closer inspection, I found that that those black things were BUGS!!! BUGS IN MY MILK! I've since stopped drinking and have written a complain letter to Anmum which has not received a reply. So yeap....I googled this up and apparently, similar cases have been found in baby milk powder and those bugs are harmful!! Please beware.. I wonder if this was an isolated incident (ie one single batch) or there are more of it! One thing's for sure, I was delighted when gynae said to cut down on Anmum!! To all Anmum drinkers, please inspect your milk powder before drinking!
In a nutshell from the ultrasound scan:
1. EFW = 989g (a little higher than normal). So I was advised to cut down on my Anmum milk intake which is fine by me seeing I was stunned with what I found in the pack (will elaborate later).
2. BPD = 68.1mm
3. AC = 213.4mm
4. FL = 52.4mm
5. Amniotic fluid quantity is normal
According to my calculations, baby is supposed to be 26 weeks 3 days. Scans came out to be 27 weeks 1 day, which brought forward my due date to 1st June.
Things to note for this week onwards:
1. Gynae said, start the movement count! 10 movements per day. If anything changes drastically, remember point 2.
2. Should anything happen, go straight to the labor and emergency ward which is open 24/7 =)
Now... my Anmum Materna milk story. I bought a BRAND new box of milk last week, then proceeded to open it. Upon stiring the milk in my cup, I saw black things floating at the surface... Upon closer inspection, I found that that those black things were BUGS!!! BUGS IN MY MILK! I've since stopped drinking and have written a complain letter to Anmum which has not received a reply. So yeap....I googled this up and apparently, similar cases have been found in baby milk powder and those bugs are harmful!! Please beware.. I wonder if this was an isolated incident (ie one single batch) or there are more of it! One thing's for sure, I was delighted when gynae said to cut down on Anmum!! To all Anmum drinkers, please inspect your milk powder before drinking!
Baby Spurts - Week 26
Hellooo Week 26!
How your baby's growing:
The network of nerves in your baby's ears is better developed and more sensitive than before. He may now be able to hear both your voice and your partner's as you chat with each other. He's inhaling and exhaling small amounts of amniotic fluid, which is essential for the development of his lungs. These so-called breathing movements are also good practice for when he's born and takes that first gulp of air. And he's continuing to put on baby fat. He now weighs about a pound and two-thirds and measures 14 inches (an English hothouse cucumber) from head to heel. If you're having a boy, his testicles are beginning to descend into his scrotum — a trip that will take about two to three days.See what your baby looks like this week.
Note: Every baby develops a little differently — even in the womb. Our information is designed to give you a general idea of your baby's development.
How your life's changing:
Are you rushing around trying to get to childbirth classes and prepare your baby's room while still taking care of all your other daily tasks? Make sure that you also continue to eat well and get plenty of rest. Around this time, your blood pressure may be increasing slightly, although it's probably still lower than it was before you got pregnant. (Typically, blood pressure falls toward the end of the first trimester, and it tends to reach a low at about 22 to 24 weeks.)Preeclampsia — a serious disorder characterized by high blood pressure and protein in your urine — most often shows up after 37 weeks, but it can happen earlier so it's important to be aware of the warning signs of this condition. Call your caregiver if you have swelling in your face or puffiness around your eyes, more than slight swelling of your hands, excessive or sudden swelling of your feet or ankles, or rapid weight gain (more than 4 pounds in a week). With more severe preeclampsia, you may experience other symptoms. Let your caregiver know immediately if you have a severe or persistent headache, vision changes (including double or blurred vision, seeing spots or flashing lights, sensitivity to light, or temporary loss of vision), intense pain or tenderness in your upper abdomen, or vomiting.
If your lower back seems a little achy lately, you can thank both your growing uterus — which shifts your center of gravity, stretches out and weakens your abdominal muscles, and may be pressing on a nerve — as well as hormonal changes that loosen your joints and ligaments. Plus, the extra weight you're carrying means more work for your muscles and increased stress on your joints, which is why you may feel worse at the end of the day. Walking, standing, or sitting for long periods, as well as bending and lifting can all put a strain on your back. A warm bath or hot compress might bring relief. (Some women, though, find cool compresses more comforting.) Try to maintain good posture during the day, avoid activities that require bending and twisting at the same time, take frequent breaks when sitting or standing, and sleep on your side with one or both knees bent with a pillow between your legs, using another pillow (or wedge) to support your abdomen.
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