Of Fears and Guilt...

Since young, I've always wanted to be stay at home mom. In fact I thought that I was going to be a stay at home mom!

When we got pregnant, we knew being a stay at home mom and having comfortable family finances will not be possible. Either one had to go. We sat down, calculated expenditure and realised having a baby would cost... well... alot. And so it became clear that I could not leave my job.

Ever since then I've chucked that aside, focusing on taking the pregnancy one step at a time... kinda like denial. Now with B-day lurking round the corner... I've been noticing that guilt has been creeping up. Questions like... will I be a good enough mom? Will I be missing out on her vital milestones? Will I be giving my baby the best she deserves - the best of me?

Here's what we've planned.... Baby will come to work me with in her 2nd month...Yeap... 2nd month. That's cause I am only allotted 1 month maternity leave. So baby will be with me in a playpen in class or with my dad in his office... And I'll attempt to juggle both work and a baby... My schedule's pretty packed yet fluid at the same time, but of course, I've never done this before and there's no way of guessing if this will work till we actually get there...

I guess we'll do this step by step. Trusting that God can make a way in the harshest of environments, what more this one?
=)

To God be the glory! Amen!