I didn't enjoy today's antenatal class. Mainly because I've been feeling 'off' this whole day. For the whole day a cloud of heaviness has been following me. And I just realised it's the feeling of being overwhelmed.
Antenatal class covered topics on labor and breastfeeding. All of a sudden I just felt this great burden. I kept thinking, I'm not ready for this... how am I going to cope with... and with ... and with ... and then with....
Now it's just spiraled down to me wondering if I'll even make a decent mother. This tiny helpless, defenseless baby is mine to care for... I am her primary caregiver... Her life will depend on how well I do.
At this point, I just wish I could keep her inside of me... At least I won't need to stress if she's getting enough food, sleep etc.
And then there was a segment in the class where the trainer described labor and said that it will be painful... very painful... And all those horror stories I read and heard about came to mind... So right now I'm feeling... just overwhelmed.
On top of that, my laptop decided to crash. For no good reason, crash! Blue screens have flashed acrossed my eyes this entire evening. I've not mentioned, it's still new!
So I am teary-eyed now... All of a sudden... things just seem to insurmountable and scary... All of a sudden, I just feel so small...
Is this just the hormones?
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