Walking with the Maker

Since Australia, the idea of God as a Maker and Creator has become very apparent to me. His genius plan orchestrated perfectly in all nature... I used to love taking walks, feeling the breeze whistle God's grace, see the sun display God's splendor, listening to birds sing their unique God-given praises. These remind me of how God is everywhere and in everything even though I don't often feel Him or hear Him, I get to see Him everywhere.

But I was jolted when we had a miscarriage in May. It was our first child. Took me a while to get back on my feet and to praise again. Lots of confusion, lots of unknowns and that frustrated me.

Now 4 months from then, we're pregnant again. Although we prayed and committed our next pregnancy to God, there are still fears... fears that are so real to me. I told God frankly that I did not know what trust means and how to trust. Blinders... blinders on horses. Yes, fact is I miscarried once, fact is I cannot see the future and I don't know what the future holds. But there's also another camp of facts: God is God, God is a perfect Maker and Creator, God said yes, and I know that I am blessed, God is good and His plans for me are good and perfect plans to bring Him glory. So blinders. I have been learning to wear blinders. To focus on truth - on what He said and says.

But this is a battle. Yesterday we had a scare, I felt slightly feverish. The last time I felt feverish while pregnant was the day we lost our baby. Fever was the reaction to the dead fetus. I kept reciting verses to myself, putting on blinders. And for a while, I would feel peaceful, and then the next while, I'd feel a wave of fear and uncertainty all over again. So we decided, we would do everything in our power to aid this pregnancy, the rest is, and always has been, in God's hands. We prayed, and Justin took me to the doctor's. Turns out I had mild food poisoning, which explained the diarrhea and excessive wind. Took charcoal pills - which are safe in pregnancy. And today I am feeling much better.

I've only known about this pregnancy for a week today. And already there are battles. But I've had unrealistic expectations, because battles of faith are BATTLES. Which mean there is bound to be fighting involved. How silly of me for expecting to fold my arms and not need to do anything. Yes the Lord of hosts will fight for me, but before He can, I have to first yield. The field of yielding and setting my eyes on God alone is my battle field. Some days I can fight better than others, but thank God for GOD. His grace is more than sufficient, it is abundant and exceeding. More than enough for the days I have no will and strength to fight.

Whale-ly Updates 2

Hello readers!

I shall write about whale-ly updates when I get new ones.

I had diarrhea today... 4 times from morning till now... not very pleasant at all =/ ... But not to worry. =) Here's something from a website Justin found to help others like me be more at peace:

Constipation is a common side effect of pregnancy. But what of diarrhea? No pregnant woman wants to suffer from diarrhea during pregnancy. Unfortunately many do. Diarrhea may result from a number of causes during pregnancy. The more common culprits include a lactose intolerance, dietary or hormonal changes or sensitivities to certain foods while pregnant.

Fortunately diarrhea during pregnancy is typically short lived and not something to cause concern. If however you experience diarrhea accompanied by severe nausea or vomiting, it is important you consult with your healthcare provider. You may need medical intervention to help prevent dehydration.

So in a nutshell: diarrhea is quite normal in early pregnancy.

When to worry: When diarrhea is accompanied by dehydration, vomiting, pain or cramps, and/or spotting.

I also noticed soreness in my abdominal area when I raised my voice or walked around too much. Didn't help that I had to watch the younger students today, so raising of voice and walking around was a prerequisite. But all is well when I get to rest a little.

So that's all the new ones I've been getting.

Oops.. one more, I slept at 10.30 last night... Unimaginable... By 9.30 I was struggling to keep my eye lids open. Hehehehe think that's been helping my complexion =D

Shall update when more changes occure.

Till then,
tata!

Momma bump - 2 weeks

Ooohhh I've started taking pictures of the momma bump!

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Whale-ly Updates 1

I've entitled updates on my body as whale-ly updates. So here's the first.

Fatigue has been moderate... Not falling asleep at work yet =) But sleeping time is steady getting earlier.

Feeling bloated in the abdominal area. Couldn't wear my jeans today without having it unbuttoned. And just last week I was able to fit it perfectly =/ Justin thinks I ate a bit too much in our Singapore trip last week.

Having some abdominal soreness and heavy discharge. Chest soreness is still very very very minimal, unlike the last one. =)

I don't exactly know how many weeks I'm curently at... My calculations say not more than 3 weeks. But based on my online cycle calculations, I'm at 4 weeks. we'll find out when we see the gynae in 4 weeks =)

.:New Beginnings:.

25th September 2009.

We found out we are going to have a baby!

This is going to be a journey. A great journey. Fears aside, we're learning to focus on God - the Maker of the universe and lover of our souls, the One who has gone before us.

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